Coachella 2018 Announced!

Time for Festival announcement season to fire up, apparently, with both Coachella and Governor's Ball announced in the last day or two.  First, the Coachella announcement, which is, frankly, BUTT.

Big Three:

• Beyonce - yeah, alright, that might be fun to check out for once.
• Eminem - say him a few years ago, and if you recall my review, I was pretty bummed about him lip syncing the whole show.  On top of that, his new album is lame.  So this would not be exciting.
• The Weeknd - I guess this means he is going to release new music, but yuck.  Who the hell cares?

Next main lines:

• The War on Drugs, Fleet Foxes, Vince Staples are good.  Beyond that?  David Byrne maybe? Maybe A Perfect Circle?  Alt-J?  Portugal. The Man if they get a new sound guy?
• Freaking Jamiroqui?  Really?  On the second line?
• Migos are homophobic trash.  Cardi B is a one hit wonder.  I don't even know what Odesza is.  Kygo is boring EDM.  SZA is fine, but I wouldn't pay to see her.  Post Malone is lame.  

And the small print?  Its like made up names for a fake poster.  Buttertones?  Fazerdaze?  Moon Boots?  Otoboke Beaver?  Mild High Club?  Snail Mail?  Japanese Breakfast?  Westside Guns?  Would you seriously know if I had made all of those up?  And I listen to a buttload of music.

I'd be crushed if the ACL lineup was this young and weird.