Bilmuri

One Liner: Whack ass combination of metal, country, and emo
Wikipedia Genre: Metalcore, hard rock, electronicore, post-hardcore, acoustic (sure, yeah, why not?)
Home: Columbus, Ohio

Poster Position: Second Quarter - Line 9
Day: Friday
Weekend Two Only.

Thoughts:  I said the name of this out loud as I typed it into Spotify, only then realizing that this was likely a play on Bill Murray.  I am very confused by the first tune and it's thick riffage, but that also sounds very much like a current country song.  Is this the first metal country song?  I know we've done country rap and country rock, but now we've got some gnarly riffage to go with it.  And those drums - I don't know what to call that tangled little drum fill that metal dudes use at the end of verses, but that is well-represented here.  See what you think with the terribly named "BETTER HELL (Thicc boi)" - 14 million streams.

That bro doesn't look like the voice at all.  He is also terrible at mowing the yard - no pattern at all.  Oh, he doesn't even have the handle down that keeps the motor running.  This video is built on a foundation of lies.  But I will admit that the song kind of makes me laugh for a sec.

Johnny Franck, also known as Bilmuri, is this dude.  His Wikipedia says that he was formerly the "clean vocalist" and rhythm guitarist for Attack Attack! before he left to start a new band called The March Ahead.  I am unfamiliar with the term "clean vocalist" but it apparently means, in the context of metal music, that he is the guy singing in a normal, clear, natural voice, as opposed to the Cookie Monster ass guy doing something extreme to get the nerds turgid.  The top ten "clean singers in metalcore" does not include this gentleman.  Loudwire seems to tell me that Bjorn Strid, of Soilwork, is the finest in all the land.  Sure.  Sometimes he goes into the screamo stuff though, so he's not always clean.

Wikipedia claims that Franck left Attack Attack! to focus on his relationship with God.  And sure enough, in 2013 his new band played at Liberty University and then he gave his testimony to the audience and fielded questions.  So, there is a good chance this dude stormed the Capitol on January 6.

He says his influences are Enter Shikari and Forever the Sickest Kids.  I feel like he made up those band names to sound cool.

Fascinatingly, he has released approximately four million albums since 2016: Jaguar Shark (2016), Bilmuri (2016), Letters (2016), Frame (2017), Banana (2017), Solid Chub (2018), Taco (2018), Wet Milk (2019), Rich Sips (2019), Muri and Friends (2020), Eggy Pocket (2020), 400Lb Back Squat (2021), Goblin Hours (2022), and American Motor Sports (2024).  The majority of the most popular songs on Spotify are from that last album - most of his early albums don't have anything that cracks a million.  One exception is "Near" from 2016's Letters.  Let's check that one out.  12.6 million streams.

More of a pure emo/metalcore lite thing.  Never been my taste, that sort of whiny soft-loud emotive stuff.  His next one with a stream count over ten million is called ABSOLUTELYCRANKINMYMF'INHOG.  Which is a sweet title.  Sounds like terrible Post Malone trash with the riffage.  Very bad music.  The track from that same album - 2020's Eggy Pocket - that edges that one in streams is "FLUORIDEINTHEHARDSELTZERWATER."  10.8 million streams and just an exhausting title.

This is all like a joke that gets old the second it starts.  I totally agree that it is funny for a second.  Like, the kind of thing where a friend is like "oh man, you have to check out this hilarious band that is half metal and half country and half emo" and then they start it and are looking at your face as you listen and you have to provide a wan smile and nod your head a little and be like "yeah, man, funny stuff for sure, bro."  And he won't stop watching you listen and so you have to swallow your own tongue and hope to die.

I super did not listen to all of these songs.  I did the top ten twice and that early one up above, but please.  I'm only a man.  If I keep going I'll die.