Quick Hits, Vol. 172 (Fall Out Boy, BROCKHAMPTON, Anderson East, The New Pornographers)

Fall Out Boy - MANIA.  I know, you likely hate Fall Out Boy.  And that is fine.  I hate this album too.  But deep in my damaged mind, where the truth lives and posturing ends, the truth is that I kind of love the old Fall Out Boy albums.  A guilty pleasure for sure to jam out to that album that had "Sugar, We're Going Down Swinging."  But this leaves a lot of that clever song-writing and song-naming behind, and adds a lot of beats and electronic elements in their place, to make generic-sounding pop with guitars.  The "hit" on the album, "Champion," sounds crafted solely to be used as NBA Sunday Night commercial intro music, with trite "Champion, I can do anything!" lyrics and a generic "rock" sound.

Ooooh!  Will Smith's kid isn't having your FOB fan-boy virtual reality shit!  He gripped that bat SO HARD!  "Stay Frosty Royal Milk Tea," the next song on the album is also very bad, but it includes a weird chorus intro spoken like Inspector Clouseau saying something about a "racist staaauunce."  "HOLD ME TIGHT OR DON'T" goes with a dancehall beat thing that just sounds sad on these guys, and then they go reggae-lite on "Sunshine Riptide."  Did growing old destroy their song writing ability?  Fame?  Drugs?  This is not good.  Funny thing is that they pushed back the release of the album when they realized that the original group of songs were not good enough.  God have mercy on whoever had to listen to the original songs.

BROCKHAMPTON - SATURATION III.  I saw this album listed as a top ten album of the year somewhere, and then saw them added to a few festival posters, so I thought I'd give it a listen.  This is a hip hop group originally from San Marcos, Texas (?!?) that is now based in California, and this album is one of three all called SATURATION that were released through the second half of 2017.  The group has 4,378 members, and their sound is very odd (but kind of cool in that oddness).  Each song name is a single word, in all caps.  The top track from this album is "BLEACH," which has 5.6 million streams.

The warped, wavy, schlurped effects they use on that guitar/organ (? I have no clue what is making that noise) is rad, with a cool basic bass and click track with hand claps, not like anything I've heard recently.  Very cool.  Lyrically, the tune is depressing as hell, which matches the confused-sounding sample/effect very well.  "You'd be hurtin' if you trust me but you isn't, Honestly, that's probably the right decision," or "I found false hope in all kinda places, Hotel rooms and temporary feelings, I put my clothes on and try to check out, I try to hide from the sun, let it set now."  Or hell, the chorus/hook - "Who got the feeling? Tell me why I cry when I feel it,  Tell me why, Tell me why."  Cool track.  And the laid back beat and funny hook ("boys wanna play with my cell phone but I don't want nobody to see whats in it") of "STUPID" is another good one.  There are many good tracks on here.

But then, on the other hand, you've got the next most popular track on this album, the album opener of "BOOGIE," which has a crazy annoying sax/WOOOO WOOOO whistle sample/beat that is not a good thing at all.  I don't even know what the lyrics say, I just want that sax to stop making that noise.  [edit - you know what is funny though?  I woke up with that song in my head this morning and was mentally jamming along, a week after having last heard it.  The human brain is a funny thing.]  And I could do without some of the airy, R&B-ish singing stuff like "CINEMA 3."  So, its not a perfect album (what is these days in hip hop?), but very interesting stuff.  If I am later reviewing this group as an ACL band, I think they could be very fun live - their stuff feels offhinged and wild, like they would throw a party on stage.

Anderson East - Encore.  I had it in my head that this guy was a country artist - one of these outlaw country revivalists who have been popping up.  Nope, while you might be able to put him adjunct to the country people, this is more akin to the soul revival people like Nathaniel Rateliff than it is to the outlaw revivalists like Stapleton.  Maybe this is closer to Sturgill and the way he used some Stax horns on his last album.  Oh, hey, look, Spotify says related artists are St. Paul & the Broken Bones and Nathaniel Rateliff & the Night Sweats.  So yeah, this has nothing to do with outlaw country and I'm a dolt.  Welcome to my music blog!  Wheee!
Anyway, this is soul revival action - very well done.  His voice pretty frequently reminds me of David Gray (check "Without You"), when he's not pushing his vocal range and getting creaky.  When he goes there (check "Surrender,") he is more like Benjamin Booker.  I could, personally, use a few more up-tempo burners and fewer draggy, slow love songs, but to each his own.  And even though slow, I liked the imagery in "Cabinet Door" about holding hands and watching the Braves game.  "All On My Mind" is, by far, the biggest track on here with just over 3 million streams.

Apparently Ed Sheeran co-wrote the song, and he must have posted about it on social media or something, because most of the YouTube comments are weirdos saying they are seeing the video because of Ed Sheeran.  What causes people to do that?  What is the reward for telling other people that you are listening to a song because of NBA2K or One Tree Hill or whatever?  Strange.  (Meanwhile I am sitting here writing 2,000 words about random albums of music, to be read by 6 people).  But this album is a good thing.  The horns are my favorite part - without the heavy dose of horns on most of these songs, they'd just be pretty generic, trying to latch on to nostalgia for a past style of music.  As it is, I like it.

The New Pornographers - Whiteout Conditions.  There are times in my musical life when everything should work out just fine for an album, but for whatever reason - current attitude, sound mix, seasonal allergies, astrological plane, tidal positioning, an annoying vocal, or hunger - I can't get behind that album.  This is a perfectly fine album by a band that I generally like, and yet I have been putting off this review for weeks because I just don't care about the album.  I've probably heard it 15 times by now, and I keep stubbornly restarting it, figuring that this is going to be the time that it clicks and I enjoy the pleasantly groovy rock and roll.  Still hasn't happened.  But this is good, mild Dad rock, groovy and funky enough, harmonic, lyrical, and you may really dig it.  I can't.
The top track, with 1.8 million streams, is "High Ticket Attractions."

That video looks like fun.  Except for paint in the face, if someone throws paint in your face, you should be legally allowed to put them in a coffin filled with fire ants and launch them into a volcano.  But I wish the video had resolved somehow, it just fades to black in the midst of the riot.  Hmmm.  Anyway, that is a good song.  I have heard it on the radio a few times, and I like it.  But like the rest of the album, its just kind of fine to me.

Quick Hits, Vol. 173 (King Krule, Moon Taxi, Kid Rock, The Lacs)

The new Jay Rock, featuring Kendrick Lamar, is salty business.

The beat isn't all that complex, but it is tight and tough.  Jay Rock's rap style is apparently to just say the same thing over and over.  Real deep shit (NOT).  Future's auto-tune trash is more of his usual.  But then the beat changes and Kendrick goes on a We-Didn't-Start-the-Fire-style rapid spit of shit.  Between the tough initial beat and then the ending, pretty solid.  If you saw the start of the Grammys the other night, this was the piece Kendrick used with all of the guys in red getting shot one by one, which looked amazing.

King Krule - The OOZ.  Really?  Really?  This is the #17 album from last year (per Mitchum's combined top albums of 2017 spreadsheet)?  WTF is this?  it sounds like Chris Martin from Coldplay took all the drugs, ate 3/4 of them, gave 1/4 to a drummer to help him, and then locked the two of them in a padded room with a guitar, microphone, and 48 effects pedals and they started boning their instruments while the tape ran.  If alternative rock was meant to be bad avant-garde jazz, then this one knocks it out of the park.  See "Czech One," the first single from the album.  Reminds me sometimes off Thundercat or the background sax music from Kendrick Lamar.  Every once in a while, one of the tunes peeks through the ooze of his drug addled schmear, like "Emergency Blimp," which actually has a beat and rhythm to it.  "Dum Surfer" is the top track, with just over 4 million streams.

Sure, I guess this is like the cutting edge of rock and roll right now or something, but this track can't save the rest of the sludge of the album.  And by the way, I'm super alone here on this island, because Pitchfork says is is a 9.0 and is timeless.  Consequence of Sound gives it a B+ and calls him a Wunderkind before saying "Plenty of transcendent albums were born of dissatisfaction, but rarely has that frustration sounded so appealing."  Not for me!

 Moon Taxi - Let the Record Play.  Saw these guys for the third time in the fall of 2017 and very much enjoyed the show.  Very young crowd - at one point a dude with a grey beard and I locked eyes and gave each other the wassup nod to confirm that, yes, we were the oldest two dudes there in a sea of college-aged idiocy.  One of my favorite parts of that show was when they cranked up a tune from this new album, which was not out at the time, and it was heavy.  Like, way outside of their normal spacy, jammy, happy rock sound, but like they had been listening to Zeppelin and wanted to give that a shot.  So I was pumped when I saw this had been released - gimme that hard and heavy Taxi, bra!  Annnnd, nope.  The song I was remembering is slightly heavier than the rest of the album, but only in the "heavy" way that I usually wait to weigh myself in the mornings until after I have dropped a deuce.  That tune is "Moving to the City."  Peep the ridiculously metal heaviness here.

SO METAL!  Obviously just kidding.  Pretty good tune, but funny how the live sound did not translate to the studio one.  I can hear the same heavier guitar/bass combo fuzz that sounded larger live, but this doesn't bring the same power.  And then their top hit, which has over 72 million streams and is therefore a legit hit, is "Two High."

That Instagram-worthy video makes me split harshly between a desire to: (1) punch all people younger than me in their perfect faces immediately; or (2) go live their lives and do a sweet kick flip off of a raft while hammering tide pods in the river.  Or whatever the kids do these days.  I'm old.  But before the concert, I had figured that this song was about smoking ganja, but instead it is apparently about the peace sign.  Which is so precious it kind of makes me want to vomit.  I sound like a cranky old man in this review, but honestly I like this album.  Breezy light alternative rock and roll.

Kid Rock - Sweet Southern Sugar.  I will readily admit to having jammed some old Kid Rock back in the day.  "American Badass," for all of its cheesiness, still made me feel pretty tough.  This takes all of that, rolls it up inside of a used confederate flag g-string, douses it in corporate-made moonshine, folds it into the shape of Trump's hairpiece, and then sells it on HSN at 2 a.m.  The album opens with a welcome to the "GREATEST FUCKIN' SHOW ON EARTH!!!" and then goes right into "Po-Dunk," a song Big and Rich probably rejected for being too obvious - "holler if you is, shut up if you ain't, poh, poh, poh, poh, poh, poh, PO DUNK!"  I mean, he's full on going for it.  Every lyric was formed in a right-wing think tank based in a Kentucky double-wide where the window shades have started to grow stalactites of meth crystals.  Singing appreciatively about preachers who pack guns, angel women, the "proud red white and blue," and whiskey. But singing derisively about California, "bitch-ass broke mafuckers," selfies, and "Taylor Swift's dick," which he uses to fuck you in the ass if you call him white trash to his face.  For real, he said that.  He also, for some terrible reason, approaches some sort of 80's disco-fied rock garbage, complete with backup singers saying "shoop, sha-dooooodo," on "I Wonder."  This album really has tragic things for everyone.  Oooh, including a rockin' remake of fucking "Sugar Pie Honey Bunch" that will absolutely make you wish for the sweet abyss of nuclear armageddon.  Oh, sweet Jesus.  Please, God.  No...  <death>

Welcome to hell, folks. 

The LACS - American Rebelution.  I figured I would go ahead and add this one right behind Kid Rock, since they aim for the same demographic.  Rolling Stone just recently did a piece on Country Rap, which highlighted the Lacs as one of the current top acts in the genre, which rose out from its father Bubba Sparxxx, he of the late 90's hit "Ugly."  Well, this is exactly what you would expect from such a thing, very basic, rock-centric beats, carefully-enunciated lyrics about drinking, rednecks, guns, and girl's gettin' wild.  And mentioning "Hillary's E-mails."  You also get more Nashville-esque country that switches back and forth from garbage Florida Georgia Line dreck and bad rap lines, like "Jack in my Coke (Feat. Montgomery Gentry)." And shit like "The good die young, so you know I'm gonna be all good."  Their most listened to is that one with Montgomery Gentry, so you get to suffer through that as well.  Good luck.

I mean, if you played this for your lady friend, closely looking into her eyes as you told her that she is the kind of lady to put chicken livers on the line to catch a catfish and then fry 'em up, is that a winning play? Or do you end up in trouble?  I thought I knew some rednecks, but this is next level shit.  Also, every time I hear something like this, I think how I really should stop writing these blogs and start writing country song lyrics to make crazy huge bank.  "My baby's hotter'n fresh blacktop in Juuuullaaaaaayyyyy, my kinfolk make fresh moonshine make you crrraaaaaaaayyyyyy."  I just wrote that off the top of my head.  I could be a billionaire by next week on this stuff.  Oh, the album, you do not want to hear this album.

Quick Hits, Vol. 171 (Feist, Quicksand, INHEAVEN, Algiers)

If you have 20 minutes, and you liked Stranger Things, watch this now and thank me later.

Feist - Pleasure.  This was on someone's end of year best albums list.  Maybe The Ringer.  I thought enough of it after a listen or two to add it to my new music queue to dive into it some more, but now I'm not feeling it much anymore.  I like when it goes blues rock, like "I'm Not Running Away" more than I like it going torchy, slow-mo indie, like "Young Up."  The title song is the top track on Spotify, "Pleasure," with 4.1 million streams.

This one is more in the vein of the torchy stuff, but it kind of takes off for a bit in the middle with the scronky guitars.  This one isn't doing it for me.

Random aside, go listen to the Decemberists Ben Franklin Song.  This is a Lin-Manuel Miranda-penned song of ballsy swagger written from Ben Franklin's perspective where he brags about how bad ass he is.  "Do you know who the fuck I am?  I am Poor Richard's Almanac-writing Benjamin fucking Franklin."

Pretty funny stuff.

Quicksand - Interiors.  I saw Quicksand open for someone back in the early nineties, Smashing Pumpkins or Red Hot Chili Peppers or Pearl Jam or Soundgarden...  High school shows all run together after a while.  But I know I saw them because I had a concert tee that I wore into college until I sacrificed it for a theme party where someone needed to look metal-ish and so they ripped off the sleeves of that t-shirt for their costume.  We were not very real metal-heads.  Or very good party costume makers either.  WHATEVER.

After a 22 year gap in albums, these dudes are back for another stab at an album, and it sounds very much like they haven't heard anything new since their old tunes.  Very 90's alt rock-ish stuff, some Silverchair, some Soundgarden, some Stone Temple Pilots, very grunge-forward rock stuff.  "Illuminant" with 603k streams, is the top song on Spotify.

Pretty solid.  I've enjoyed a few forays through this album, but I won't hold on to it for good.  Try out "Hyperion," and if you ever used to jam Silverchair like I did, you should hear echos of those tunes in there, big time.

INHEAVEN - INHEAVEN.  Great grungy rock stuff also from the Buzz Bin of the 90's, but with the added bonus of two lead singers, who switch off lead roles on songs, to good effect.  The female vocalist is good, but the male sounds like Michael Hutchence of INXS and therefore I'm very into him.  I used to love INXS.  This is a good album of fun tunes.  As they switch off, it makes for almost two different bands on the first several songs.  You have a punkier tune with the lady singer, then you get a groovier tune with Not-Hutchence.  Which is kind of cool.  I already talked about the album a little bit because of reviewing top ten lists from 2017, and this was on Keith Law's list.  "Regeneration" is still my favorite tune - just a perfect grunge rock nugget, but I'll give you a different tune this time, "Treats," which also slays.

Going for the Smells Like Teen Spirit thing both in the video and in the intro shred that falls back into a feedback time for vocals.  Oh, and the cheerleaders dancing in a dark space in front of the band.  But the crunch of that chorus is like musical manna to me.  Give me that all day.  I am such a sucker for that type of jam.  Some of the other Not-Hutchence tunes have a saxophone and xylophone presence that is reminiscent of Springsteen (like "Stupid Things,").  I don't know man, I've been sucked into this one.  I'm on it.

Algiers - The Underside of Power.  WTF is this?  The opening song, "Walk Like a Panther," is like someone made an industrial song by sticking Billy Ocean in electrified water and recording his wails as he slowly expired.  Zero clue where I found this stuff, but it is not for me.  Also, their Spotify bio says they combine post-punk with "no wave" and now I want to die.  Honestly can't finish the album.  Here is that track, which somehow has 266k streams.

In all honesty, some of the other songs are better, but I can't move past how unpleasant this one is.  And they picked it to open the album?  Nope.

2018 Grammy Nominations Thoughts

Ah, the Grammys.  My love-to-hate pleasure.  Love them because it is fun to review the last year and they can have some cool performances on the show.  Hate them because many of the selections for awards are FREAKING STUPID.  They snuck up on me this year - the ceremony is this weekend and I haven't even looked at the nominees.  Let's change that up real quick.  If you want to look back at my ravings in the past about how dumb the categories are, then please by all means go here.

In prior years, I've really broken this down and had some fun with it.  Not going to happen this year, waited way too long.

Also, before discussing this year, let's see how I did last year on predicting these things:

• Record of the Year - I said Beyonce, but it was Adele.
• Album of the Year - I said Adele, and it was Adele!  Yay me!
• Song of the Year - I said Beyonce, but it was Adele (again!).
• Best New Artist - I said Chance the Rapper, it was Chance the Rapper.
• Best Rap Performance - I said Chance the Rapper, it was Chance!
• Best Rap Album - I said Chance the Rapper, it was Chance!
• Best Rap Song - I said Chance the Rapper, it was freaking Drake's Hotline Bling.  Boooo.
• Best Rock Performance - I guessed Bowie, CORRECT!
• Best Rock Album - I guessed Cage the Elephant, CORRECT!
• Best Alternative Album - I guessed Bowie again, CORRECT!

In 2016, I was terrible at these predictions, hitting 1 out of 7.  This year I was significantly better, getting 7 out of 10 predictions correct.  You damn right, suckas!  Batting .700 up in this!

On to this year, I have to be pretty quick to get to all of them.

Album Of The Year:

• Childish Gambino - Awaken My Love.
• Jay-Z - 4:44.
• Kendrick Lamar - DAMN.
• Lorde - Melodrama.
• Bruno Mars - 24K Magic.

Really?  Seriously?  Hard to believe the folks in charge seriously think those are the five best complete albums of the entire year.  Other than Redbone, I don't know of anyone talking about the Gambino record being a classic.  Jay's album is terrible.  I did not enjoy Lorde or Bruno Mars.  The only two of those that have been well reviewed, critically, on end of year lists are Kendrick and Lorde.  I'll guess this goes to Kendrick.

Record Of The Year:

• Childish Gambino - Redbone
• Luis Fonsi and Daddy Yankee - Despacito
• Jay-Z - Story of OJ
• Kendrick Lamar - Humble
• Bruno Mars - 24K Magic

I can't freaking stand that Despacito song. My youngest kid LOVES it to death, although when she studiously sings along to the lyrics, I'm pretty sure she is just slurring the word despacito repeatedly.  "Redbone" is great, "Humble" is great, and "The Story of OJ" is the best thing on the weak Jay-Z album )but its also anti-semetic, so I'm shocked it was even nominated.  Hard call on this one, I'm going to guess Despacito because it was the biggest song of the year without any doubt.

Song Of The Year:

• Despacito
• 4:44 - Jay-Z
• Issues - Julia Michaels
• 1-800-273-8255 - Logic
• That's What I Like - Bruno Mars.

This is an actively bad list of music.  Like, it would be hard to be more disappointingly concentrated on garbage.  And the point of songwriting is supposed to be the songwriting.  if you think that Bruno Mars song is good songwriting, with the terrible couplets like "Cool jewelry shining so bright, Strawberry champagne on ice," then you deserve a swift kick in the brain.  The Logic song has a good, positive message about suicide prevention.  "Issues" is a fine pop song.  4:44 is only interesting to the world because of the confessions about cheating on Queen B.  Honestly, if Jay wins any Grammys this year, that is bullshit.  Uhhhhhh, I guess I'll give it to Logic?  I don't feel strongly about this.

Best New Artist:

• Alessia Cara.
• Khalid.
• Lil Uzi Vert.
• Julia Michaels.
• SZA.

I think SZA wins if they go with the most critically acclaimed artist.  I think she is boring, so I would not support that.  Cara is even more generic, just a supplier of hooks with a great voice like hundreds others.  Lil Uzi is everything I find to be wrong with music right now - good beats with zero charisma or thought used in the lyrics.  If I played you one of his new songs, you would have zero clue if it were him or Offset or 21 Savage or Lil Yachty of whatever new mumblerap guy is out there.  That should not equate to best new artist.  In a year, no one will remember that he existed.  Julia Michaels is perfectly fine.  So I guess I'd like for Khalid to get it - he seems the most interesting of the group and genuinely new.  My guess is SZA though.

Best Rock Performance:  Leonard Cohen and Chris Cornell should not be in this list, if not for their deaths.  Foo's Run is not a great song.  Just tried Kaleo's "No Good" for the first time - why in the world is this even in the running?  Who is making these choices?  Perfectly fine, very generic blues rock song.  Nothing More's "Go to War" - I've never heard of this band, never heard this song, what is going on?  Huh, they are from San Antonio.  Kind of the Incubus/Linkin Park area of the rock spectrum, with lots of double bass kick drum action.  Damn.  Did rock suck this bad last year?  I guess I'll say the Foos win it based on name recognition alone?  This category is jacked up.

Best Rock Album: Mastodon's Emperor of Sand was OK, bad mix and so the lower end is non-existent.  Metallica's Hardwired was solid.  Nothing More's The Stories We Tell Ourselves is out of left field. Not even 9 million streams for that top song that is up for Best Rock Performance.  No clue why that is even in the running.  Royal Blood should be here.  Queens of the Stone Age's Villains is a great album.  The War on Drugs' A Deeper Understanding is also very good.  If it were up to me I'd pick QOTSA.  But I'll guess the War on Drugs wins.

Best Alternative Album: Arcade Fire, Gorillaz, LCD Soundsystem, Father John Misty, and The National.  I think that Gorillaz album is awful, and the LCD Soundsystem disc isn't far behind it.  FJM is great lyrically, but a very boring album of music.  If it were up to me, this would be Arcade Fire in a landslide, but my guess is that all of the doofus people voting here will go LCD Soundsystem to try to show off their hip bonafides.

Best Rap Performance: Big Sean's "Bounce Back" was good.  Cardi B's "Bodak Yellow" is omnipresent, but I still don't feel like I really know it that well.  Jay-Z's "4:44" is just not good.  Kendrick's "Humble" is good stuff.  Migo's "Bad and Boujee" is catchy as hell, but is truly stupid.  I think it is "Humble."

Ooooh, they have a new category this year (or at least I think it is new) called Best Rap/Sung Performance, to acknowledge that most of rap is now infiltrated by terrible R&B elements that ruin everything.  I've never heard of two of these, not going to give an opinion.

Best Rap Song: Cardi B's Bodak Yellow, Danger Mouse (with Run the Jewels and Big Boi)'s Chase Me, Kendrick's Humble, something called Rapsody's Sassy, and Jay's Story of OJ.  is there really a rapper called Rapsody?  Gross.  Just as an aside, "Sassy," by Rapsody, is not good and is not in her top ten most popular songs on Spotify.  WHO CHOOSES THESE TRACKS?  And how did I not know about the RTJ/Big Boi collabo???  I'm a fraud!  Have to guess Kendrick here too.

Best Rap Album: 4:44 (lord have mercy...), DAMN (yes...), Migos' Culture (truly idiotic), Rapsody's Laila's Wisdom (really?), and Tyler the Creator's Flower Boy (haven't heard it, don't like Tyler at all).  So, Childish Gambino's album is up for Album of the freaking year, but it somehow isn't up for the best album of its genre?  HOW IS THAT FREAKING POSSIBLE?  SO STUPID.  HULK SMASH!!!  Also, how is a Run the Jewels collaboration noted in these categories, but nothing off of their amazing album?  This whole thing is a sham and a farce and a sharce.  I'll go with Kendrick again.

I don't feel good about any of these predictions.  These nominations are freaking weird.  let's hope that the performances on the show are good, because I feel unsettled by this entire exercise.

Predicting ACL 2018: The International Lollapaloozi and City Limits

I've previously talked a lot about the strong link between the Chicago Lollapalooza lineup and the ACL lineup.  That same strong tie doesn't quite hold true for the foreign Lollas and City Limits.  There is some commonality, although it is more like 1 or 2 of the top 6 who will show up in Austin, not 4 or 5 of 6.  Still, I thought I'd have a look at the four international Lollapalooza and two international City Limits lineups announced so far (Berlin Lolla has yet to be announced) to see if we could divine anything from those posters.

C3 now runs two new City Limits shows, in Sydney and Auckland, and Lollapalooza now throws down in Berlin, Paris, Brazil, Argentina, and Chile.  So, what do we have for the top lines from those posters?  First, let's check the history:

2016 Lineups:

• Lolla Brazil, Argentina and Chile all had the same top 6 headliners: Eminem (no), Florence & the Machine (no), Jack U (no), Mumford & Sons (yes), Snoop Dogg (no), Noel Gallagher (no).  So only 1 of 6 match.
• Lolla Berlin: Radiohead (yes), Kings of Leon (no), Major Lazer (yes), Paul Kalkbrenner (no, wtf?), Phillip Poisel (no, wtf again?), New Order (no). 2 of 6 match.
• Auckland City Limits: Kendrick Lamar (yes), The National (no), Fat Freddys Drop (errr, no?), Modest Mouse (no), Girl Talk (no), Shapeshifter (no).

2017 Lineups:

• Lolla Brazil/Argentina/Chile: Metallica (no), The Strokes (no), The Weeknd (no), The xx (yes), The Chainsmokers (no), Flume (no). 
• Lolla Paris: Red Hot Chili Peppers (yes), The Weeknd (no), Imagine Dragons (no), Lana Del Rey (no), DJ Snake (no), London Grammar (no)
• Lolla Berlin: Foo Fighters (no), Mumford & Sons (no), The xx (yes), Hardwell (no), Beatsteaks (no), Marteria (huh?  no).
• Auckland City Limits: Was cancelled in 2017, but is back for 2018.

What does that tell you?  People in other countries will allow headliners that would cause me to riot?  Yes, there are a few connections, but you aren't seeing a good, strong, wholesale connection here.  But let's check out the lineups for this year:

• Auckland City Limits: Beck, Justice, Future, Grace Jones, Phoenix, Peking Duk.
• Sydney City Limits: Beck, Justice, Future, Vance Joy, Phoenix, Tash Sultana.
• South America Lollas: Pearl Jam, Red Hot Chili Peppers, The Killers, Imagine Dragons, Lana Del Rey, LCD Soundsystem (with Chance the Rapper in 7th, pretty weird that he gets lower billing than freaking Imagine Dragons or Del Rey).
• Paris Lolla: Depeche Mode, Gorillaz, The Killers, Travis Scott, Nekfeu, Diplo.

Interesting, little overlap between the families there.  We've recently seen The Killers, the Chilis, Vance Joy, LCD Soundystem, Chance, and Gorillaz here, so those won't be back.  

• Beck.  I'm already on record for believing he will be at ACL this year.  Hope I'm right. Yes.
• Pearl Jam could come back, but I kind of doubt it on such a quick turnaround.  I would be fully on board with this, so please yes, bring them back C3 peoples, but I don't see any indicators.  Tour is over in August (although not much of a tour), so they have the time to come to Austin in October, but no new music or real reason to suspect them. No.
• Justice.  I really don't know squat about Justice.  I vaguely recall some very French dance EDM from years ago.  Looks like they put out a 2016 album, so they are still putting out new music, but I don't recall any attention paid to that here in the States.  They are touring right now, hitting festivals all over the world, with their last one in mid-July.  So that leaves time for them to show up at both Lolla Chicago and ACL in Austin.  This could be the big EDM band for the year?  No clue, will go no.
• Phoenix.  Their album last year got some good critical press (even if it left something to be desired for me, personally).  Their tour this year, in addition to a few foreign fests, has space open where they could fit into both Lolla Chicago and ACL, so that feels like another band that could show up at Austin.  This one feels more up the alley of ACL people than Justice, so if I were going to pick just one of these two, it would be Phoenix.  I'll say yes for now.
• Depeche Mode.  Huh, who knew they had a 2017 album?  I think I missed that.  So they have some new music to tour behind (not that anyone would want to hear it at a Festival - just the hits, ma'am) and are on the road, in Europe and South America through the end of July.  That would leave time for both Lolla and ACL, but it feels like we already did the Depeche Mode thing a few years ago, and there wouldn't be much buzz for them to come back for another bit in Austin.  Going to go with no.
• Imagine Dragons.  Honestly, bring it.  I can't stand this band, but if they would play opposite someone good, and draw a huge crowd of dorks ready to yell "Radioactive" and "Thunder Lightning Feel the Thunder!" with them, then I'd be better off over at the empty Beck stage.  Their current tour goes through August 31, so they have the time to be in Austin.  I take it back.  Please don't bring this dreck to ACL.  Please let the history and traditions of Austin mean more than the popular current of garbage kidzbop rock.  Going with NO because I want that to be the answer.
• Travis Scott.  This guy also sucks.  "Antidote" is pretty dope, but its completely dumb popcorn rap with no lyrical power.  I swear the only reason he is popualr is because he keeps getting arrested at his jenky shows.  No real tour, just playing a few fests.  I see no reason for him to come to Austin, going with a no.

If I am going to take two artists from this list who I think might cross over to ACL, I'll go with Beck and Phoenix.

2018 Jazz Fest Announced!

I dream of Jazz Fest.  Never tried it out (although a group of friends went a few years ago and had a big time) but they consistently get great artists at the top of their poster.  AND my friends said that the music is usually done early, like 8pm, so you have time to go out on the town and eat and drink and find other music, so it is even more than just a festival trip.  The poster looks amazing, but know that those artists are spread out over MANY days, so the daily ticket itself is never that amazing.

Ooooooh-wheeeee!  Loogit that top line!  Hell, look at that second line - when Sturgill Simpson only rates as the 12th best guy on your poster, then holy shit.  Hell, Lyle Lovett only rates the 4th line!  But for real, seeing Aerosmith, Aretha, Sting, Buffett, Jack White, and Beck would just about put me in a nursing home.  The difference though, if you go look at the daily lineups, is that you only get a sliver of those bands per day.  For example, if you go on Saturday for the second weekend, you only get Aerosmith of the names I just mentioned up there.  I mean, you'd also get Cage the Elephant and the Revivalists and Better than Ezra, but these daily lineups devolve into super insider gumbo real quick.

Weekend One would get you Sting, Sturgill, Aretha, and Buffett.  That is still pretty rad.  And then you could fill up the rest of your days with all sort of other interesting things.  Second weekend would net you Beck, Aerosmith, and Jack White (in addition to other cool stuff like Cage the Elephant, Steve Miller Band, Jason Isbell, Rebirth Brass Band, Revivalists).  Hard ass choice on which of those two weekends would be more exciting.  But how freaking amazing would it be to just live in N.O. and get to go to all seven nights?  The wife would probably divorce me.

This also makes me laugh, because literally six days ago, I confidently wrote that:

• Aerosmith had no tour and no reason to show up on the festival circuit.  WRONG!
• Jimmy Buffett "can sell out the biggest stadiums in the world in a heart beat with crazy parrot weirdos, so I doubt he'd need to or want to mess with a festival."  WRONG!

Shows you what I knows.  If I weren't already going on a vacation during this time period, I would seriously consider making the pilgrimage to this Fest.

Quick Hits, Vol. 170 (Aimee Mann, Katy Perry, Frank Turner, Charly Bliss)

Aimee Mann - Mental Illness.  If you've never gone down the Aimee Mann rabbit hole, you really should.  My first exposure to her was through the I Am Sam soundtrack, if you recall that one.  Great soundtrack, by the way, takes all Beatles songs and has a bunch of indie and alternative artists provide cover versions.  Some of them are really great, and that definitely applies to Mann's "Two of Us."  I grabbed that album many moons ago and played the crap out of it on a huge road trip with friends up to Utah to see the 2002 Olympics.  Try that soundtrack out.  The next tunes I remember of Mann are from the Magnolia soundtrack, with "Save Me" being her top track on Spotify to this day.  And such a great tune.  I caught myself singing the chorus against yesterday while walking the dog - "why don't you save me, from the ranks, of the freaks, who suspect, they could never love anyone."

Anyway, on to this album - Mann has a very beautiful voice, soft in the center, but edged with something that makes her sound like she smiles through pain as she sings.  Layers of harmony, generally acoustic and relaxed arrangements, this is pretty chilled stuff, but it always feels like she is singing from a place of regret and simmering anger.  And with song titles like "Knock it Off" and "You Never Loved Me" and "Lies of Summer," you get that pissed off feeling there too.  The top song is the first one off the album, "Goose Snow Cone," with 1.2 million streams.  So not very popular.

FFS, man.  I'm not a cat guy, being that I am very allergic to them and being around one will make my face die, but damn you Aimee Mann, now I'm all teared up about the fate of Goose the cat who likes to fetch Q-Tips.  This is a good album - kind of a one note thing, so if you don't like that chilled brand of harmonic relaxation tune, then you're not going to find much else to change your mind on here.  Good lyrics and relaxed tunes.

Katy Perry - Witness.  Please don't make me go back through this one again.  Please.  15 songs, just under an hour, and nothing on here is worth a damn.  The only one I had heard before is the godawful "Chained to the Rhythm," that I saw on the Grammy broadcast last year, but is tragically bad.  I guess the Nicki Minaj track "Swish Swish" is the best thing on here, but don't make me think about this anymore.

Oooh, that video is awful.  Even with a kid from Stranger Things in it.  I take it back, this song sucks too.  Do not go listen to this album.

Frank Turner - Songbook.  I was at a friend's birthday party the other night, and an acquaintance told me about this guy.  She was shocked that I didn't know about him already - people figure that I know all music on the planet because I know 4.6% of it and write a million words about it a week.  So, I tossed him in the Q, and to be honest, he is really fun. The first song from this album ("I Still Believe") is kind of like a Flogging Molly/Dropkick Murphys tune, where it starts off slow in an accented lilt, and then a full on punk oi-oi-oi-ooooh! assault kicks in and drives you through the wall before a wooooahhhahhahhhhooooohhhh background kicks in for the pounding ending.  Sweet.
According to the Spotify bio, he was once in a punk band called Million Dead, before going out on his own to make folkier, more acoustic tunes.  And this album is a "career-spanning retrospective" that includes some re-recorded versions of some of his most famous songs.  Which is why this disc is so flipping long - 1:51 and 29 songs.  But it has some really great stuff on it.  Even after that first track, the second track ("I Still Believe") is a fun crowd-sing-a-long about believing in the power of rock and roll its power to make everything right.  Hell yes.
The top track on his entire Spotify is called "Recovery," with just over 6 million streams.

Yeah, baby.  Some of the tunes come across more as emo Dashboard Confessional-sounding tracks ("Long Live the Queen" is a good example), or Snow Patrol ("There She Is"), but most of them are really very fun and more like Irish Punk-lite and Americana ("The Road" could easily be a Texas country tune).  Would be a fun dude to see play live.

Charly Bliss - guppy.  The Ringer's top ten albums of the year pimped this one, and I haven't been able to delete it out of my new music Q since.  Seriously great alt-buzz tunes picked straight up out of the Breeders/Weezer/Veruca Salt/Matthew Sweet world of 90's rock.  It is really good stuff.  The top song is the album opener, "Percolator," but I want to give you the second track, "Westermarck."

I wanna go to Charly Bliss camp!  Love it.  "Black Hole" also rules.  And "DQ."  But I'm a massive sucker for the 90's buzz bin alternative action, so this was going to click for me no matter what.  Every once in a while, the saccharine quality of the vocal bugs, but it doesn't bother me long term.  Gimme some more.

Quick Hits, Vol. 169 (Margo Price, Yo Gotti, Jeezy, Real Estate)

I know this is childish, but I can't help but giggle at the Internet comparing President Trump's purported measurements to those of famous athletes.  I mean, Tim Tebow and Kam Chancellor, or and the Kiko Alonso one.  I mean, GTFOH.  Either Kiko Alonso is lying through his teeth about his size, or the President's doctor has lost his damn mind.  I know muscle weighs more than fat and all of that, but still...  Trump's jawline is in the way for his nipple piercings.

Margo Price - All American Made.  When she came to ACL a year or two ago, I loved the brash realism of her take on an old school style of country.  Her voice is very classic, a little brassy at times, a little soothing at times, like many of her Nashville ancestors.  And she also does great work lyrically, firing up tunes like "Pay Gap" about the bullshit women have to put up with in receiving less for working the same task as men.  And she goes hard on that song, comparing women to slaves and dogs owned by rich white men.  She is not mincing words, even if the tune itself sounds kind of like a fun Mexican-influenced ditty.  Then there is a nice duet with Willie, and the title track, which is another nice one full of longing and a vague sense of sadness.  But the top track per listens is "A Little Pain," with just over 326k streams.

Has the sound of the Dan Aeurbach production machine that is taking hold in Nashville right now, easing off the classic country sound in favor of some old school soul sound, but keeping the slide guitar in there to add a country flair.  It was actually released on Third Man Records, the Jack White label in Nashville, so likely no Auerbach assistance.  Pretty solid album.

Yo Gotti - I Still Am.  A few weeks back, I had to drive up to Dallas for a meeting, and on the way I did my usual maneuver of trying to make my phone play Spotify through an FM modulator thingie, because my old ass car doesn't have bluetooth or a connection I can use to hook the phone up directly.  Well, that works until about Waco before the station I use here in Austin starts to fuzz out with blasts of Tejano.  I tried to find other blanks spaces on the dial, but it is just about impossible to find good blank space, especially once in range of Dallas.  So I went back to the well on the old radio stations I used to love in big D, including K104, the "rap" station that now plays way more garbage R&B than real rap.  Long story short, they played "Juice" from this album, which I had to Shazam to figure out what it was, because its a fun track.

Total popcorn rap.  Nothing in there lyrically that makes a dent in the slightest, but screw it, the beat is fun and his flow sounds good.  The Nicki Minaj-assisted track is a good one, but then there is a Chris Brown track and DEAR GOD I HATE CHRIS BROWN SO MUCH.  Why does every rapper feel the need to add him to a track to sing his hooks?  His voice is annoying and dumb and DIE ASSFACE!!!  Excuse me.  OK.  Sorry.  The next best tune is the French Montana-assisted "Oh Yeah," which has some of that old Miami bass/clap sound and is just fun.  Not a great album from start to finish, but I'll save a few tracks.

Jeezy - Pressure.  Now that is an interesting question.  Among garbage male rap-song-hook-singers, do I hate Tory Lanez more than Chris Brown?  How can one world contain this much hatred?  I think Brown still takes the cake, but Lanez is awful and horrible and blood-pressure-creating as well.  And his name is stupid.  This album ALSO gets a hook song from Trey Songz.  This is America in 2018.  Kill us all.  
I'd say that some of the tracks on this album have a good general feel - good beat, nice flow over the top, rough and rugged.  But then a lot are pretty mediocre and weak (first and foremost, the ones with the crappy R&B hooks).  The top track is "American Dream," which features both J. Cole and Kendrick Lamar, so I'm not so sure that Jeezy is responsible for those 7 million streams, or if this isn't a product of Kendrick's name being associated.

Good track.  Jeezy's verse is good, J. Cole actually sounds pretty good, but Kendrick's sounds kind of like a throw away.  Like this: "These streets made for ballin' (yeah yuh), Ten toes ain't for fallin' (yeah yuh), I hear the world callin', Tell me if ya all in (tell me if ya all in)."  Nope, pretty weak.  The album closer ("Snow Season") has a nice swagger to it, and "Cold Summer" is pretty cool sounding.  But all of these, lyrically, are pretty plain.  I'll let this one go.

Real Estate - In Mind.  Similarly to Jack Johnson, Real Estate just keeps plugging along, making sunwashed, harmony-laden indie rock.  I fell for this sound back when they came to ACL a few years ago, and loved their set.  I fully understand that many of my friends find this music to be as bland as it comes, but it strikes a chord in me like a good Wes Anderson movie soundtrack.  Just pretty stuff.  But I hear your complaints - if you thought their old music was boring, then you will also not like this one.  The top song is the first song on the album, usually a bad sign, but in this case that first song is so much more popular than the rest of the album, I think it is because it is a legitimate hit and not just people trying out the album and then running for cover.  Here is "Darling," with 17.1 million streams (even more than the excellent "Talking Backwards" from 2014's Atlas).

A little more rock-forward than many of their tunes, but you can still hear the tunefulness and harmonies that they lean on throughout their tunes.  Some of that tenderness on this album reminds me of Teenage Fanclub's Bandwagonesque.  Check "Two Arrows" and see if you don't hear it in the meandering walkabout tempo and harmonies.  This is a good album and I'll keep it around.

Predicting ACL 2018: LiveNation Bands

Time for some of my favorite times of the year with this blog, spending loads of wasted time studying websites, tour calendars, and making spreadsheets to see if I can guess who is going to come to ACL.

To recap my process last year, my 2017 gut instinct band guesses in January were godawful.  The year before, I batted .500, which is honestly better than I ever expected, with Mumford and Radiohead coming true and Coldplay and Dave Matthews being whiffs.  But my 2017 ridiculously early predictions were 1 for 6, guessing only the Chili Peppers correctly.  I also guessed The Killers and Ryan Adams further down in that same post, but I can't feel good about that set of predictions.  

That being said, those were the gut intuition calls, before the benefit of research.  Once I started doing serious research for 2017 and wrote my final predictions, I ended up going 4 of 6 (giving myself the benefit of a soft prediction for Gorillaz), with Chili Peppers, Chance the Rapper, The XX, and Gorillaz being correct, and Lorde and Arcade Fire being wrong.  Still pissed I missed that Arcade Fire prediction because I wanted them here so very badly.  That is pretty solid, if I can pat myself on the back.  And I can, being that this is my blog.

So far, we have announced lineups from Coachella and Bonnaroo, and then some lesser ones like Shaky Knees and Governor's Ball and Firefly, so I'm starting to get all excited and curious to know what is coming. I'm well aware that we are months away from an announcement (May 5 for both 2015 and 2016, May 4 for 2017).  In the past, I felt like we had to wait for Lolla as the best guide for what ACL would look like, but now that C3 also books Bonnaroo and the foreign Lollas and Shaky Knees, we'll have some information right now that we normally wouldn't, and that will be supplemented later with the Lolla news.  

LiveNation Bands:

After Live Nation purchased a majority stake in C3, I brought up the idea that maybe we could get some of the Live Nation megastars as headliners for the Fest.  I was going to drop this as a section in this blog posting, just because none of these people ever actually show up at ACL, but now McCartney played Lolla three years ago and in 2017 U2 played Bonnaroo and Jay-Z played ACL, so we have some real precedence for this happening.  (of course this may have nothing to do with LiveNation supporting those bands, but I think it probably does).

The LiveNation website says they now manage eight hundred billion artists.  I can't find the part of their website that previously listed their "Stable of Global Icons," which I suspect means that they've outgrown the ability to list just a few artists when they have hundreds in their pocket. Hell, even just a listing of all the companies they fully or partially now own is staggeringly long.  This interesting article also notes that a lot of the folks tied up in the Tidal streaming service are likewise in on the LiveNation deal.  There is no way I'm checking all of their bands for this, but lets just look at ones who would seem to fit, based on intuition.  Previously, I have left out some folks in this prediction list because they just don't match up to the ACL vibe.  I'll do that again here, leaving out junk like Maroon 5 or Rihanna who I truly doubt would ever show. (but for some reason including Pink.  Where is my mind?)

By the way, after I got a little ways into making the list below, I realized how silly this list is.  Live Nation apparently represents EVERY MUSICIAN IN THE WORLD.  Go to that link up above and scroll through.  It is insane.  So where this was going to list about 15 artists and take an hour, this list is now 27,000 words long and goes through more bands than any normal human can recall without a phone in their hand.  I started this post in 2005, I think.  I've lost all hope for the rest of my life...

• Beck.  Yes.  I believe this one.  He is the top line headliner for Auckland and Sydney City Limits Festivals.  I truly love you, Beck.  Please don't hurt me.  I'll have to listen to Sea Change and weep openly in front of my kids.  His website shows limited touring dates, but the last ones are in June, so he's got availability for October.  Yes.
• U2.  I was hopeful for this to happen last year, with their inclusion at the top of the Bonnaroo lineup.  Their new album just came out (and I like it) and they are embarking on a new tour on May 2 in Tulsa.  That tour, as of now, has no Texas dates and ends in June, so they have the time to be here.  And I also think they would make a big "get" for ACL, a band that would make a lot of people excited about the Fest, even if U2 might be considered old people music.  For now, I'm going to give a strong maybe.  We'll see what the tour looks like when they announce more dates.
• Fleetwood Mac.  The only reason that I even really entertained this band here again is that a lot of people were talking them up in comments about Bonnaroo.  They have one single date on their touring calendar, which is just an awards show of some sort. Also, they've never played any of the big four Festivals since 2011, so there is really no precedence for them showing up here.  Probably not.
• Jack White.  Feeling this one too.  He is just about to release a new album, he is headlining a few other festivals already, and it feels like his year to pop up on a lot of posters.  He was at ACL for 2012 (and his show was freaking wonderful), and has previously come through as White Stripes and Raconteurs, and then has done other big 4 appearances since.  His "tour" for this year is solely festival appointments, so far, so I have very little to go on as far as scheduling.  But he certainly has the time.  I'll give this one a yes.
• Kanye West.  Saint Pablo is old, his tour ended on December 31, 2016 and so there are no real indications pointing to him being here.  The internet talks about a purported new album to be released at an unknown time.  Also, I wouldn't be excited anymore about seeing him, unless he committed to playing only his first two albums and not the more recently meandering blurg, so no.  No.
• Coldplay.  For two years I have thought that they must be on their way to ACL, but no such luck.  Their massive Head Full of Dreams tour is finally over (with zero dates for anything on their website), and no new music is being discussed on the web.  Feels very unlikely, although their last tour only had one Texas stop (Dallas) and that was August 2016.  So they seem due to show up in Texas?  As much as I, personally, would like for that to happen, I see no real signs and will give this one a no for now.
• Arctic Monkeys.  Just announced to headline the Firefly Fest up in Delaware, so they are back out in the touring world.  NME says they will announce more tour dates and release a new album soon.  Sparse details in my research, but I just feel like this one feels like the kind of thing ACL will book for the third line of the poster.  Yes.
• AC/DC.  Nah.  I would have enjoyed this show, but with Malcolm Young dying, I think this one is done.
• Florence & the Machine.  I have to say, I recall their last performance at ACL as one of the best shows I have seen out there.  Shockingly great.  They aren't on tour, and only have one appearance currently slated, per their website, at a German festival.  NME says they are also playing a show in Poland.  Only the faintest rumors of a new album.  When I saw them listed on LiveNation's list of bands, I thought this one was going to feel right, but as of right now, I see no reason for them to show up at ACL.  Until more information comes out, going no.
• Aerosmith.  I mean, they are still well recognized as a big time band and all, but I still don't see them as an act that I would expect to show up in Austin.  They haven't played one of the big four since I've been tracking (2011).  No tour listed on their website, so no.
• Arcade Fire.  Their album (Everything Now) is still recent enough to merit interest, although the proper tour supporting it in the US has ended.  Their website makes me want to die.  I can't figure out their touring schedule at all.  But other websites show that they have a handful of European tour dates and a slot at the Okeechobee Festival in Florida coming up in 2018, ending in August.  So maybe I was just a year early on predicting them for ACL and C3 asked them to play Lolla one year and then come to ACL the next.  I felt good about them last year, but that was folly.  Nothing in this research shows strongly that they'd be here, but I'll give a lukewarm mehbeh.
• Jimmy Buffett.  No.  I'd love it, but this guy can sell out the biggest stadiums in the world in a heart beat with crazy parrot weirdos, so I doubt he'd need to or want to mess with a festival.
• Kings of Leon.  I think I hate all band websites.  This one is far to clever for its own good.  And shows zero on the touring schedule.  Felt good about them coming last year, but was extremely wrong.  I'll go with no this year.
• Weezer.  They released a new album in 2017 (the relatively bad Pacific Daydream) and they are currently touring behind it in Australia (who knew they had so many towns in Australia?) with more dates in the US on the way.  Ah, the shows in Australia are with the Foo Fighters, no wonder they are doing so many shows.  Oh, they'll be at the 360 Amphitheater on this tour at the end of June.  With the Pixies in tow.  If that new album had been good, then I might think they could do a June Austin show plus ACL, but I don't think they have that kind of power anymore.  No.
• Jay-Z.  I mainly wanted to include this here to note that last year I said there was no way because he had no new music and no tour.  Welp.  Good call.  My answer continues to be No.
• Nickelback.  Hahahahaha.  The fact that LiveNation hasn't scoured this name from their website is hilarious.  Is there a bigger musical punchline than Nickelback these days?  Maybe Milli Vanilli?  No.
• Alt-J.  These cats are on several other festival posters so far this year, and right now are on tour in Europe.  They'll come back to play Coachella before going back to Europe for some more action, and then back to play 'Roo in June before back to Spain.  The last date on their current tour listing is mid-August, so they have the time.  And they could be the band to do all big 4 this year? Their album came out in 2017, and didn't do much for me personally.  Also, they were just here in 2015, so I'm not feeling like they'll be back.  No.
• Beyonce.  Sincerely doubt this, even though she is playing Coachella.  It would be cool, I think, to see her, but she just doesn't match up to what we would expect from ACL.  She isn't on tour, and seems to only be doing Coachella to make up for bailing on them last year.  Also, she failed to show last year when her husband and little sister were both playing, so Nope.
• Avett Brothers.  Playing a show in Austin on March 3, with Asleep at the Wheel.  So, on the one hand, Asleep at the Wheel is the official band of ACL Fest, so this means they are in cahoots and the Avetts will be at the Fest.  But it wouldn't make sense for them to play a not-sold-out show in March and then come right back, would it?  Last show on the tour is Aug. 20.  Their last album was 2016, and an eight second Google does not show any obvious signs of new music on the horizon, so I'm not feeling a buzz here.  No.
• Avicii.  Claims he is never touring again.  No.
• Madonna.  Every year, I manage to talk myself into this.  It would be so super rad to see her play her classics.  If she played "Crazy For You," you'll just have to forgive me if I cry the entire time thinking of what could have been in third grade, but when she plays "Into the Groove," I'mma be a-ight and I might dance myself into a heart attack. Oh, will she come here?  Sincerely doubt it.  No new music on tap, her last tour ended March 2016, and she's not one who plays the festivals.  But she apparently teased a 2018 return!  So I'm just going to save myself the heartbreak this year and say No.
• Bette Midler.  Hahahahaha!  Just saw her on this list and thought I'd include that for a laugh.  That would be amazing.  Like that Lionel Richie year but even campier.
• The Black Keys.  Doesn't it feel like these guys broke up?  Auerbach is out there making great music and producing dope records and touring on his own.  SongKick says no upcoming 2018 concerts.  Sucks, I really like these guys and they'd be a great addition to the lineup.  No.
• Black Sabbath.  They claim that their last tour was the last one they'll ever do, and it ended in February 2017.  So no.
• Blink 182.  They came through Austin last year in support of their most recent album, but have zero tour dates on their calendar.  No indication that they would tour again this year or randomly show up in support of a two year old album.  no.
• Bon Jovi. Britney Spears. Bruno Mars. Bryan Adams.  Daughtry.  Imagine Dragons. J. Cole.  Katy Perry. Ke$ha. Kid Rock.  NKOTB. Nick Jonas.  NIcki Minaj.  Slipknot. Stone Temple Pilots. Slayer. Twenty One Pilots.  No to all of these, I was just entertained by some of the artists in the Live Nation stable.
• Cake.  Their website lists a few upcoming dates, including Shaky Knees, but I see no reason that they would be coming to ACL.  No new music, kind of forgotten.  I love their old music, but I just doubt it.  no.
• Charli XCX.  Weird.  SongKick lists no tour or concerts, but Google shows multiple shows in England coming up in February.  LiveNation also lists no shows. Had it in my head that she was on a festival poster I just saw.  Minds playin' tricks on me.  No.
• Daft Punk.  No current touring, and the only report I could find of their touring last year was an April Fool's joke.  No new music either.  DP feels like the kind of band though, where they'd just pop onto the lineup anyway and cause the hardcore helmet-heads to freak out.  But, I see no reason why they would be here.  No.
• Dave Matthews.  Playing the Austin 360 amphitheater this summer, so I'll say no.
• Drake.  Please, God, no?  No.  Drake is jenky and I don't want him back to croon his way through another milquetoast set of boring boasts and melancholy confessions.  He is on a European tour right now, that ends in March.  Hopefully he gets stuck over there or Trump revokes his visa or something.  The Internet shows that he has been leaking out a few new tracks, so there might be a new 2018 album, but I still don't see any reason to believe that Drake would be here.  No other festival dates, no tour, etc.  No.
• Disclosure.  I've been reading about how a new album is on the way, so they might have something good to tour behind.  But as of right now, their website has zero tour dates.  Nope, just found this article saying that they are skipping their own festival in 2018 to come back bigger and better in 2019.  I actually like these guys, so it would be fun to have them come back.
• The Eagles.  My first instinct as that this is a non-starter, with Glenn Frey dead so recently, but their website appears to show that the Show Must Go On!  They added Vince Gill and Frey's son to the lineup to handle his portions, apparently.  By the way, their opening acts are Jimmy Buffett, James Taylor, or Chris Stapleton.  HOLY SHIT.  Those are some pretty amazing openers.  Their tour dates go from March 2018 to September 22, but with a large gap in the middle from July 28 to September 8.  So, technically, they could take a break from their tour to do Lollapalooza on August 2-5, and then end their tour in time to come and play ACL in early October.  No new music announced right now, but honestly, that is for the better - I definitely would rather hear the classics and not some garbage new track featuring Rihanna and Future.  Huh.  This could happen.  It would be a major heritage act get for ACL, and even if half of the world now thinks they hate the Eagles because they think it is hilarious to quote the Big Lebowski all day, I think this would be big.  I'll give it a lukewarm possibility.
• Ed Sheeran.  Sincerely doubt it.  Huge very current star.  But doesn't really play festivals, and could book a huge show on his own at any venue.  He's also playing a show in Kansas City on the Saturday of the second weekend, so I don't see this happening.  No.
• Elton John.  Some precedence, in that he played Bonnaroo in 2014, but no new music planned and the only touring stuff on his website is a residency in Vegas and two nights in Georgia (the country, I think).  No reason to expect this.  No.
• Eminem.  Dammit.  Yes, he very well could come back.  Since he is headlining Coachella, Bonnaroo, Firefly, Boston Calling, Governors, and likely 14 other festivals by now.  Has a brand new album out to tour behind. But he has no other tour on his website, other than the festival dates.  Here's the thing - his new album sucks on toast AND the last time he played ACL he lip synced the whole time and it was annoying as hell.  Don't get me wrong, if he would just do old school tracks and actually rap them, sign me up.  But if he's doing new music and using a backing track, no thanks.  Part of me feels resigned that this will happen because of his presence on every other poster, but I'm going to hold on to hope and say no.
• Fitz & the Tantrums.  When I saw their name on this list, I thought they make good sense to come again.  First, because they are super fun.  Second, because I feel like they've been in the public eye again recently.  But their website shows only one upcoming show, at some minor festival in Cleveland in June.  They aren't doing any other festivals that I've noticed, and no new music teased heavily right now.  No.
• Foo Fighters.  Seems to early to have them back to ACL, and they are playing Austin on April 18 at the 360 Amp.  The tour ends in September, so they theoretically have the time, but I just don't see it.  I still love the guys, but I don't think the crowd would clamor to see these guys on the top of the poster so soon.  No.
• Franz Ferdinand.  Playing Shaky Knees, new album out on February 9, and their tour is done by July 15.  But, on the other hand, they are playing a show at Emo's in May.  That is a smallish venue, and that show is not sold out, so that doesn't seem like a high sign of demand.  But since that is a C3-booked venue, I still feel OK about this.  Feels good to me.  Yes.
• Garbage.  Only two shows on the docket, both in UK in September.  No reason to expect this.  No.
• Garth Brooks.  I mean, I sincerely doubt it.  As rad as it was to see him as SXSW last year, this would be a major departure from the norm for ACL.  I guess they had Dwight Yoakum a few years ago, so you could imagine this happening, but I would be shocked.  No new music, no tour (just two Houston shows and then an appearance at Stagecoach Fest in April), so I'm going to say No.  But I want to be on the record as saying this would be fun.
• GEORGE MOTHERFUCKING STRAIGHT.  I could have sworn that he already retired and did the whole Cowboy Rides Away tour.  Damn these people who refuse to ride off into the sunset.  Well, actually, I don't mean that.  I'd love to see him play immediately and would have paid a pretty penny for tickets to the Austin show if the ticket purchasing process wasn't so damn rigged and garbagey.  Anyway, I digress.  His tour is extremely limited - two shows in Vegas, 1 in New Orleans, two in Tulsa, OK, and 1 in Austin in June.  That show sold out in less than a billionth of a second, so there would definitely be demand for him at the Fest, but I'd just be shocked if this was actually a headliner.  My prediction is no, but wouldn't it be cool?
• Green Day.  No tour.  No new music.  Last year would have made perfect sense, but not this year.  No.
• Halsey.  Ugh.  Probably.  Her tour is relatively non-existent and ends with the Hangout Festival in May.  Nah, I see no reason for her to come here.  And I really don't want her to.  No.
• John Mayer.  I think he is still currently touring with the Dead, through July.  And also, while I really enjoy his music and think his new album is very good, I think the public perception of Mayer is still pretty poor and people will be making fun of his name on the poster.  if "Your Body is a Wonderland" just didn't exist, we'd be in a better place.  No.
• Justin Timberlake.  New album coming out soon, massive star power, tour kicking off in March and that tour skips Austin and San Antonio.  Sounds pretty good?  As of now the tour ends on June 2.  So he has the time to do both Lolla and ACL.  Huh.  Five years ago, I would have dismissed this immediately, but with The Weeknd and Drake as recent headliners, I could see this being someone here for ACL.  Huh.  We'll see what other data comes out soon, but I like the feel of this one.  Orange threat indicator.
• And yes, I understand ho weird it likely is to say that Ed Sheeran would never deign to play a Fest, but JT would do it.  Just a gut feeling here.
• Kendrick Lamar. This dude is so freaking good.  I'd love to see him again, but I don't see it happening.  His tour goes through March 5, and then he plays Hangout in May.  So he has the time, but it feels like he just played ACL (2013, 2016).  I'm going with no.
• Lady Gaga.  Played Austin not that long ago, in support of her kind of wack new-ish album.  I heard it was a good show, and like Timberlake, she'd be a big name up at the top of the poster.  No other festival announcements I can see.  Tour ends in February.  Feels a year late, going no.
• Lil Wayne.  Who the hell knows with this guy.  No real tour right now, no new music while he continues to battle with Birdman over The Carter V.  I guess it could happen, but nothing indicates so.  no.
• Lorde.  Critically acclaimed second album that might take home a few Grammys.  Currently on tour through end of May, and that tour skips Austin and San Antonio.  She played some other big festivals last year but we missed out on her.  I can see this one.  Yes.
• Lana Del Rey.  Really hate websites that play music automatically.  Her tour comes through Austin in February and it is not sold out, so I'm not feeling a lot of buzz about her coming to ACL.  No other festival appearances on tap.  Going with no.
• Major Lazer.  I mean, these guys seem to come to ACL every year, so why not?  No real tour, a few dates in Feb. and Mar., then nothing.  Don't think so.
• Metallica.  These guys juked me last year, I was sure that they would come because they had played Lolla the year before and were touring on their new (and pretty good) album.  Buuut nope.  They are still touring, even now, with the tour currently scheduled to end in May in Helsinki, Finland.  I bet the Metallica show in Helsinki, Finland is some gnarly shit.  In my imagination, everyone there is required to dress like a player in GWAR and each patron must fight at least one other patron to the death using maces and scythes.  No reason to think they'd come this year - last year it all lined up, this year no signs to point to.  No.
• Mumford & Sons.  Nah, man.  i think they did a good job when they were here a few years ago, but I feel zero buzz about this band right now.  No current tour, no new music.  Nope.
• The National.  Huh.  Their website is americanmary.com.  Odd.  Their new album is pretty OK, and that is coming from someone who finds their music generally depressing and dreary.  So they have new music out.  And they are on tour with no dates in Texas and are playing Lolla Chile and Argentina and Brazil.  Also playing Shaky Knees and Boston Calling and some other weird ones.  And they have a gap in their schedule to fit Lolla and will be done by the time ACL rolls around.  Yes, feels real.
• Nine Inch Nails.  No real tour going on, but playing a few festivals in Europe and Japan in 2018.  Have gaps in that schedule that would fit Lolla and ACL.  Don't see any new music on tap.  I guess they could fit it in, but doesn't feel necessary.  I'll go no until I learn more.
• Of Monsters and Men.  No tour.  No new music.  Nope.
• Paramore.  Funny, on the Twitter comments, I saw more excitement about this band being at Bonnaroo than any other that I noticed.  They are pretty cool, but I wouldn't pick them as someone's favorite band.  Currently touring overseas, with Boston Calling and Bonnaroo coming up later in the year.  Relatively recent album.  I feel pretty good about predicting them.  Sure.  We'll see if they release more concert information later.
• Paul Simon.  Why has he never played here?  WHY???  His ACL taping was freaking transcendent.  I'd go watch that show 40 more times before I got sick of any of it.  No tour, no really recent album, but Simon isn't one who even needs to tour to just show up at a Fest.  He played Red Rocks last June, which would have been amazing.  No reason to think he'd show up here other than stubborn hope.  No.
• Paul McCartney.  No.  I'm tired of doing research.  Paul's not coming.  This post is so flipping long.
• Peter Gabriel.  Has he toured since 1988 or so?  No.  I imagine him living in hiding like Luke in the Last Jedi, but writing amazing songs about unrequited love instead of protecting old books and brooding.
• Pink.  No.  Come on.  Why am I still writing?
• The Pixies.  They have a current tour that goes from June to August, but they'll play Austin in June and have shows during Lolla.  Going no here.
• (they list Prince on here.  Ghoulish fuckers.  Oh, and Tom Petty.  Let them rest in peace!  And if you EVER bring a Tom Petty hologram to ACL, I will burn down the world.)
• The Rolling Stones.  Not touring.  Currently a collective 3,478 years old.  Would be a MAJOR get for the festival, but I see no reason that the Stones would come to the festival. No.
• Sam Smith.  New album critically acclaimed, has played ACL before.  Touring starting in March, with an Austin date on 7/21/18 at the Erwin Center.  I don't see him drawing enough interest to do Austin twice in that period of time.  Does have a gap in his tour dates between Sept. 13 and Nov. 2, so he could fit it in.  Also has a gap between 7/27 and 8/14 where he could fit Lolla (8/2 - 8/5).  Hmmm.  I'll go with no because of the July show in Austin, but it could happen.
• Soundgarden.  Don't you freaking dare.  Take this band down off the damn Live Nation website.  If they hire some garbage singer from Staind to come take over for Cornell, I will, once again, burn down the world.
• Snoop Dogg.  No tour.  Pretty solid album last year, but he just played Austin a few weeks ago.  Going to say no.
• Stevie Wonder.  This would be amazing.  Wonder, like Willie, is a guy I feel like I need to see one last time before Father Time catches up to him.  But the man isn't touring, has nothing new, I just don't see any indicators.  no.
• Tame Impala.  Freaking loved their show at ACL a few years ago.  Wait, watch this video on their current recording session.  Not the most amazing song I've ever heard, but how absolutely bonkers is it that he could a legit backing track together in a few moves like that?  God, I wish I could be that talented at anything.  I loved Currents (although I know some old school Impala-heads thought it was a bad move) so I would welcome them back with open arms.  But they aren't touring, don't have any apparently scheduled music to be released soon, so I doubt it.
• Taylor Swift.  Sincerely doubt it.  Like Ed Sheeran, she could fill up any sized arena right now just for herself, so why go to ACL to make a fraction of that same cut of money?  I also think her new album is weak.  Current tour starts in May in Arizona, has dates during Lolla, and plays two dates in Dallas during the first weekend of ACL.  Not happening.
• Temples.  These guys are great.  I'd love to see them again.  However, they are not touring and their last album was early 2017.  Don't see it.
• The Weeknd.  Gross.  No current tour listed on his website, although we know he is headlining Coachella.  I see no reason for him to show up here again, but who knows.  No.
• Vampire Weekend.  Seems like this band broke up as soon as Rostam left the group.  They have no upcoming tour dates per their website.  No.
• Yeah Yeah Yeahs.  Playing Governors Ball, but no other touring that I can discern from their shit website.  They were going to play Sound on Sound last fall, but that fell through, and I felt like people were excited for them to come back to touring again.  But no, I see nothing to make me think they'd be here.
• Zac Brown Band.  When these yokels sang something before the National Championship game the other day, I was all ready to say something withering about them being dumb, but the dudes I was watching with were all like - SWEET!  ZAC BROWN!  So I piped down like a coward.  But these guys blow.  I say that, and then see that they get to play two nights in a row at Fenway and a bunch of other massive venues.  So maybe, Jack, it is you who suck?  Their tour ends on Sept. 22, so they'd have time to make it to Austin, but I see no indication of them being the kind of band for ACL or any buzz about that.  Will say no for now.

Potential picks moving on from this post:

1. Beck
2. U2
3. Arctic Monkeys
4. Jack White
5. The Eagles
6. Franz Ferdinand
7. Justin Timberlake
8. Lorde
9. The National
10. Paramore

There will be much more to say about these ten, but they made it through this initial smell test/gut check/very early research.  The thing with ACL is that it is so late in the season, that many tours don't even yet list their dates that are all the way out in October.  But, this is a good, and very long, start to prediction season.