Karen Elson [EDIT}

EDIT - she has been removed from Weekend One, now playing weekend two on Saturday.

One Liner: Model ex-wife of Jack White making lovely folky indie
Wikipedia Genre: Singer-songwriter (Wikipedia actually doesn't give her a genre)
Spotify Says Similar To: Jesca Hoop and Mark Eitzel
Home: Manchester, England

Poster Position: 17
Slot: ?

Thoughts: Come on, man.  She covers Lyle Lovett's "If I Had a Boat," man.  She is the most amazing artist ever to exist for all time.  Maybe not quite that great, but I literally perked up and immediately paused what I was doing to hear that one.  So good.

And she very literally is a supermodel, like she has walked runways for years and, according to her Wikipedia bio, has been in campaigns for everyone who is anyone.  By the way, there is apparently a fashion magazine called Dazed and Confused.  Which is fascinating - edit, now it is just called Dazed.  1998 VH1 Model of the Year.  2005 Best Model from British Fashion Awards.  So when I say that she is pretty (and red-headed, like all pretty people), I can say that with authority.  

She was also the wife of Jack White, the White Stripes guy, and was featured in the video for "Blue Orchid."

Which answers several questions about her that I definitely was wondering.  First, can she play a possessed demon lady in 10 inch high heels?  Yes.  Can she be chill about scary white snakes slithering on her?  For sure.  Does she enjoy white apples full of blood?  A favorite since she was young.  Can she make it seem like she wants to bone a horse, without actually boning said horse?  Absolutely.

But you didn't come here for White Stripes videos, eh?  You came for the folky rocky tunes of a pretty lady strumming and singing.  Well here you go!

That track is called "The Ghost Who Walks," which comes from the 2010 album of the same name and is, by far her most popular track at 2.1 million streams.  Her voice is good - it reminds me of Neko Case at times, Jewel at other times, and Lisa Loeb in others.  And I like all three of those ladies, so this is good company.  
In an interesting twist, the commenters on YouTube seem to think that White wrote all of her songs for her, but Wikipedia has a quote where she says that she wrote her music in secret from him, locking the bathroom door to hide while she wrote, and then White produced the album.  If you trust the Wikipedia track listing for the album, she is listed for credit on every song, with a few credits going to two others, but neither of them White.  Interesting - people just want to tear her down and make it seem like she's only here because of White, when really she has created these songs.  
Spin says that Patrick Carney (Black Keys, she apparently likes the guys from bands with Color Plural Noun as their name) produced some of the songs on Elson's new album, 2017's Double Roses.  The track they talk about in that blurb is a good shambling little rock tune with violin backing - "Call Your Name."  I'm not gonna play you that one.  The most popular song for her right now is "Wonder Blind," also from that new album.  Not going to play that one either.  I'm going to give you the one that reminds me of Jewel, "Distant Shore," with 959k streams.

Tender ballad, seems very fragile.  Her divorce was in 2013, so this isn't really the post-divorce album, but she's said that her divorce from White definitely colored this album.  The album is just full of good, chilled moments of lovely music, like the slide guitar and lackadaisical drummed "A Million Stars," or the Fiona Apple-esque "Wolf," or the laid back vibe (musically, sounds like Beck to me) of the title track.  Her voice really is lovely.  Must be cool to be a supermodel with killer pipes, man.  I mean, its pretty much like me, ridiculously good looking and with killer karaoke skillz.  We're basically the same person.

I don't know that I'd go see her.  I like the music, I really do, but this feels like an early afternoon show that I'd do if nothing else interesting was happening, to just go chill out and kick it to these relaxed tunes.

Mako [updated]

No longer showing up on the schedule as playing Weekend One.  I'm not sad.

Electronic dance.  Can the connoisseurs of this type of music actually tell who is playing?  If I took brand new songs from Mako, Nero, Deadmau5, and Kygo, songs that had never been heard outside of the hard drive upon which they were composed, would even the most fervent EDM mastermind be able to tell me which was which?  I have my doubts, but maybe they all have tell-tale signs that EDM-heads know all about.  Whatever it is, I can't notice in this music.  Synths, build-ups, bass drops, lady singers doing hooks.  But then again, I am old.  And I once bought Snow's album 12 Inches of Snow, so what do I know?

The current most popular track on Spotify is "I Won't Let You Walk Away - Radio Edit," with more than 2.1 million listens.  Close your eyes, and tell me if this is Calvin Harris or Avicii.

That might not have been the radio mix.  I'm so very sorry.  If you could tell, then you are the best listener around.  Here is the most listened to track on Spotify, "Beam - Dannic Radio Mix," clocking in at over 3.3 million listens.

First, it certainly looks like fun to go to their show, especially when that lady sings the word "inside." I can dig the fact that their music is likely fun to jam out to in a big crowd.  Second, there is, I shit you not, a ONE HOUR version of that song available on YouTube.  Lord have mercy, I hope the NSA never finds that thing or they are going to ear-board everyone with it and there will be an end to Western civilization as we know it.

I listened to the top ten on Spotify.  Please don't make me listen to anymore.  Please?  I do not want to see these two people push their buttons and dance.

HOLYCHILD {UPDATE}

No longer showing up on the schedule as playing Weekend One.  Good news for all.

Ugh.  Their website just makes me want to hate them so very much.  Oh, and their label website is similarly vomit inducing: "If music were a cocktail party filled with sweets, thought-provoking conversations and energy, then holychild would be those hosts." Blerg.

They have one EP (2014's MINDSPEAK) and then two 2015 singles.  Their most popular track on Spotify is "Happy With Me," from that 2014 EP, which has a pop reggae synth thing going.

Not all that interested in the music.  Lyrically, its a pretty cool sentiment and all, but the tune isn't doing much for me.  Then the second most popular tune is called "Running Behind"

Makes me think of TuneYards, one of my least favorite things from last year's ACL.  Not on board with this duo.

[Update on 7/24/15]  Their new album is out, and I dislike them even more than I previously did!
Exhibit A: their album is titled "The Shape of Brat Pop to Come," which makes me throw up in my mouth.  And also pisses me off a little because I loved the Refused album The Shape of Punk to Come (which was likely based on something else).  Also, "Brat Pop."  Lord help us all.
Exhibit B: Their music.  Oh man.  The first track is called "Barbie Nation" and it is just as cringe-y as you expect from that title.  It all comes off like a cheerleader vanity project recorded at the studio in the mall.
I will not be seeing them play live.

Songhoy Blues

As of 9/11/15, this one is no longer listed on the lineup.

Traditional and modern takes on Mali-an tunes.  This is four dudes from Mali who just put out their debut album this year, called Music in Exile.  Ace guitar work and a sweet groove mark just about all of these songs, although I don't speak the language to know whether or not the lyrics are anything special.  Their most listened to track is called "Soubour" with about 114k listens on Spotify:

Jam on, my man.  Graceland grooves. The second most listened to track is also pretty funky - called "Al Hassidi Terei"

That video makes me want to vomit, but they sure look happy to be singing about whatever they are singing about!  Sweet groove, tight tune.  I tried to look up that the song title means, but the internet was being a pain in the ass.  According to Google Translate, the song title means "Al Hassidi I Will" in Portuguese.  Which doesn't really seem all that helpful.  Anyway, cool band with a fun sound. Maybe I'll go check them out to get a little funk and fun into my day.

Von Grey (No Longer Playing Weekend One)

Poppy country/bluegrass girl group made up of four sisters.  Super awesome edgy piercings and side-shaved-head action:

They seem like talented ladies and their EP (2013's Awakening) is solidly good music.  I am always a sucker for a well-played mandolin.  No clue why I like shrimpy little guitars, but I dig them just about every time I hear them.  Their YouTube videos include a large number of "backseat covers," including this well-done mash of Amie and Cecilia:

However, something in the smugness of their look, like - we know we are good and super young and have odd piercings and play clever covers, love us or else you are not cool - grates my nerves.  They should respect my dumb conventions of what a normal folkie alternative band should look like!  Respect my prejudices!

Jagwar Ma (No Longer Coming to ACL)

Psych rock with a brit-pop kind of leaning.  Australian dudes.  I have heard one of their songs a few times on the radio, and mistakenly thought they were Temples.

Simple but catchy little tune, without much in the way of lyrics to get in the way of the groove.  I read an article the other day discussing the word use rate of different rappers, and how some rap artists use a ridiculous number of different words in their music.  Hip Hop Vocab  I think these guys have gone the opposite way here - they wrote about 12 lines of words and then just use them over and over again.  Regardless of whether or not it competes with Ghostface Killah, its a really enjoyable track with a great sound.

They've got just one album out (2013's Howlin), and the rest of it is similarly interesting, fuzzed-out, danceable psych rock.  And at least one extended instrumental techno jam called Four.  Their second most popular song on Spotify is called Man I Need:

I can dig it.  Makes me want to boogie.  Nice to have some simplistic and fun sounding indie music to groove to without having to worry about difficult things like lyrical content or message.  Near the end of that song, they definitely kick in the early nineties British pop sound for a bit before fading out.  Right on.

Bad Rabbits (No Longer Playing ACL)

In the same vein as Chromeo – 70’s/80’s funk derivative heavy on the funky bass and synthesizers.  Good, not great.  You really should go check out the covers they used for 4 singles in 2013 – Can’t Fool Me, Doin’ It, Fall in Love, and We Can Roll.  Spotify has them if you are on there - I fear that if you do a search otherwise you might get banned from the Internet.  Can’t Fool Me is so disturbing.  http://www.djbooth.net/index/tracks/review/bad-rabbits-cant-fool-me.  The moustache on that set of glasses.  I can’t stop worrying about how it feels about being treated this way.  Poor little guy.  Let’s just say these guys might like da booty.  This one is my favorite of the ones I listened to:

Some of their older stuff sounds more like old Prince.  I don’t think I’ll go out of my way to see these guys, although I can see them putting on a grand funky sweaty throw-down.  My fear is that they would be on at 3, and while listening I would be overcome by funkiness, and not able to complete the rest of a long day.  Be careful out there.