Cardi B

One Liner:  Apologetically brash New York hip hop gal with some good tracks, some annoying sounds, and a bunch of forgettable lines.

Wikipedia Genre:  Hip hop
Home: NYC

Poster Position: 1

Weekend One Only.

Thoughts: Maybe you somehow don't know who Cardi B is, but I would be surprised if you paid attention to music and somehow hadn't found out about this force of foul-mouthed nature.  Real name is Belcalis Marlenis Almanzar (which is a hell of a mouthful and difficult to type), and she was raised in the Bronx (as she will proudly tell you).  The daughter of a Domincan father and a Trinidadian mother.  Her nickname was supposed to be a play on Bacardi, which was her initial nickname (and is terrible in comparison).

While still a teenager, she started stripping after being fired from working at a supermarket.  She has repeatedly discussed her life as a stripper, and seems to view that time positively, as giving her independent money, drive, and people skills that she has used since then to raise herself up and be confident.  Which is admirable, to get out of bad situations and find a way to get better.

Before anyone had heard much from her, she found internet celebrity with Vine and Instagram posts, which she parlayed into a spot on the reality TV series called Love and Hip Hop: New York.  As her star was on the rise, she released a few mediocre mixtapes (Gangsta Bitch Music Vol. 2 and Gangsta Bitch Music Vol. 1) that are generic rap, without any of the fun or vulnerability of the real album she later put out.  

One album - and its pretty solidly good - in 2018's Invasion of Privacy.  We'll start the musical exploration with the first big hit.  "Bodak Yellow," with 543 million streams and a perfectly ominous beat.

She released this one as just a single at first, and it crushed everything, making Cardi the first female rapper with a number one Billboard song since Mrs. Lauren Hill in 1998 - and then she remained at that number one spot for three weeks, tying Taylor Swift for a record.  Septuple platinum, and two Grammy nominations.  Large.

She included that song on the album, which was a good call, but the album spawned even more major hits.  The album broke all sorts of other records for a female artist, and was named on a ton of lists as best album of the year.  One of the coolest tunes is the first one "Get Up 10", which spends the first half barely even a song, more of her confessing a pile of her life experiences over a minimal beat, and then it kicks in.  But the best song, and her most streamed, is the infectious "I Like It," featuring Latin American stars Bad Bunny and J Balvin.  908.1 million streams.

That bass line is so dope, and the pleasure and joy of the sampled original Tito Puente action is great, much less the smooth flow and unbridled braggadocio.  It struts with its chest puffed out, and yet also can pull of slick dance moves like Michael in his prime.   It's a great package.  I get that people may be tired of it today from overplay, but I'm still enjoying it right this moment.

The album also includes collaborations with Migos, Chance the Rapper, 21 Savage, YG, and SZA.  "Be Careful" is pretty solid - a warning to her man not to push her too far before she'll snap.  "Bickenhead" is funny because it bites Project Pat's "Chickenhead" for some entertainment value.  In all honesty, I thought this album was going to suck when I first heard it - totally figured her for a one hit wonder.  Instead, it is littered with solid beats and a couple good turns of phrase that catch the imagination.  Although sometimes her rap style turns grating to me - she stops flowing and starts barking, like the way Meek Mill sounds at all times, and it bugs.  I'm fully surprised to enjoy this album so much, but it is legitimately enjoyable.  I could do without the now ubiquitous half rap/half R&B tracks like "Ring (feat, Kehlani)" but the real rap tracks are surprisingly good.  Won Best Rap album at the Grammys as well.

Since the success of that album, she's also tossed out a BUNCH of collaborations, from weird things like Bruno Mars, Maroon 5, and Ed Sheeran, to expected moves like Migos, Lil Nas X, Meek Mill, or DJ Khaled.  Maroon 5 has the most streams with 901 million, but I won't subject you to that.  We'll go with the most recent one, the Ed Sheeran collaboration that also includes Camila Cabello.  "South of the Border," with 84 million streams.

Ewww.  Did he just sing about her "caramel thighs?"  And he's telling her "te amo mami" but he's singing it to a white girl in a Basketball sweatshirt in a snowy cabin?  And asking her to come sweat in the bed with him before jumping in the water to be free south of the border?What is happening here.  This song is terrible.  About the only thing in the song that is worth the pain of listening to it is having Cardi rap that she thinks Ed has jungle fever.  Yuck.

Of course, no discussion of Cardi would be complete without a dive into some of the public attention she gets with her online diatribes and public antics.  She had a public scrap with Nicki Minaj and apparently threw a shoe at her.  She's made videos supporting gun control, speaking out against Donald Trump, and speaking support for Bernie Sanders.  She made a video saying that she used to drug and rob men who she had lured to her hotel room for sex.  She was married to Offset (of the Migos - such crappy rappers.  I hate them so much.) and had a very public split with him that included a super awkward attempted apology in the midst of a big headlining show in 2018, which many people were pissed about as manipulation.  She has no fear of the public eye - in fact, just this morning the radio was talking about her lashing out at some ten year olds who made a truly horrible diss track about her.  Not horrible like it crosses some line, but horrible as in they truly suck at rapping or writing lyrics.

But, in the end, it probably doesn't matter because I'd choose Mumford over Cardi B pretty easily.  She'll probably get 21 Savage to come jump on stage with her for a rendition of "Bartier Cardi," and maybe some sort of supergroup track with Lizzo and Meghan Thee Stallion (which sounds freaking cool).  I'm glad that a bunch of people will go check this out and enjoy it - I can see it being pretty fun, but I'll choose Mumford.