By the way, I have been killing off new music like a redneck with a chopper and a chopper over a field of hogs. I can't remember the number, but when I was done with ACL last year, I had like 8,000 days worth of music saved up in my new music queue. After reviewing the albums you see here, I am literally down to 46 minutes, and those are all singles. A feature of Spotify that I really dislike - when you look at their list of New Releases, you get no differentiation between a single or an album. So you see a new Jack White sitting there and get pumped up, but only later realize that was just a single and not a full album. So see below for some thoughts on singles.
Migos - Culture II. If you have read this blog before then you know about my distaste for Migos, starting with their homophobic garbage, but more importantly resting on their complete lack of talent. They use catchy beats, they make fun random noises over the top of those beats, but their lyrics are idiotic stream of consciousness crap. I know people call this mumble rap (although they even say, on "Narcos," that this is "real rap, no mumble") but that isn't my problem. I can understand their words. The problem is that they just barf out whatever words they can think of. Rolling Stone previously watched them work out a song, and it looked like this:
Migos - Culture II. If you have read this blog before then you know about my distaste for Migos, starting with their homophobic garbage, but more importantly resting on their complete lack of talent. They use catchy beats, they make fun random noises over the top of those beats, but their lyrics are idiotic stream of consciousness crap. I know people call this mumble rap (although they even say, on "Narcos," that this is "real rap, no mumble") but that isn't my problem. I can understand their words. The problem is that they just barf out whatever words they can think of. Rolling Stone previously watched them work out a song, and it looked like this:
As Durel mans the board, firing up a beat he produced, Quavo enters the booth with a blunt. He spits gibberish first, hashing out rhythmic and melodic ideas: "Nigga, the ice on the boat," he mumbles. "Waste on, coo on." Bar by bar, he transforms this doggerel into intelligible ideas. "Prayer clean/Put on a pair of wings" becomes "Pull up McLaren and wings/Pull up and spread my wings."Even at the end of that process, after the "doggerel" becomes "intelligible ideas," the rhyme he comes up with is absolute trash! He starts and finishes both lines with the same words. Rhyming isn't just saying the same word over and over. Eminem's new album may be crap, but at least the guy understands that rhyming involves using different words and actually trying while writing. And the imagery is OK, but it doesn't create anything of interest. Yes, some cars have doors that raise up like wings. This is why they are called gullwing doors. You aren't coming up with anything new or valuable to the world. Just cool sounding noise. And noting that wings look like wings.
So, I know you don't care about my old complaints, what about the new album? Have they progressed any? Nope. As is the usual complaint for me these days, it is way too long. 24 songs and an hour and 45 minutes? AN HOUR AND FORTY FIVE FUCKING MINUTES? That should be the run-time of a movie, not a bad rap album of very similar sounding tracks. Obviously, they could have cut half of this and put out a stronger album. But they do this to game the streaming system and grab more individual streams that build up their Billboard numbers and payments, so this is the world we live in. But even if you assume they weren't trying to game the Billboard system, all you end up with is over 100 minutes of formulaic trap beat and lame lyrics.
They are hot shit right now, so they score big name collaborators - Drake, Gucci Mane, Big Sean, 21 Savage, Travis Scott, Nicki Minaj, Cardi B, Post Malone, 2 Chainz - and surprisingly, the Cardi B and Nicki tune might be one of the better ones on here. That and the different sound of the "Stir Fry" track, which is not trap music like the rest. But several tracks are brutally annoying because they just repeat the same shit for like 3 minutes - "Walk It Talk It" must say that phrase 385 times during the song. And the AutoTune is annoying. That Nicki/Cardi track also happens to be the most streamed on here, "Motorsport," with 114 million streams.
A Quavo verse:
Xans, Perky, check (yeah), Bill BelichickThe Bill Belichick bit is somewhat clever because it references a current, well, three years ago current, thing. But the other two lines just sound like he forgot he was still on the mike. Does the last line match up with anything? I can't see that "broad" rhymes with anything in there? Did he punch her in the stomach? (that RS article also mentions some potential lady beating as well by the gents). Just a bad, nonsense line.
Take the air out the ball (yeah), just so I can flex
Take the air out the mall (hey), walk in with the sacks
Take the air out your broad (woo, woo, woo, E)
A Takeoff verse:
And the left hand on Richard Mille (ice)So he's making fun of me for not knowing about fancy watch brands, which is semi-clever. And then he just farts out some random words in the final two lines that have zero relation to anything. Pew Pew Brrr. Yes, "motorville" and "kill" both rhyme. Good job Takeoff. However, there is no way to make those two lines mean anything other than you were too lazy to write a verse and so you just thought of gibberish. Unless he is a big fan of the online car parts emporium in Kansas?
Not the watch, but the price on the ice
If you don't know what that is (huh)
Motorsport, motorville
Abort the mission, that's a kill (pew, pew, brrr)
An Offset verse:
Uh, the coupe came imported (hey)Does he think that the color green makes a Lamborghini slow? Does he not know tortoises are slow? How else could that line make any sense? The last line - its like a triple negative and I can't figure out whether he really is immortal or not. And I also can't figure out whether I'm supposed to see the final word as the rhyming word, like in the first two lines of rhyming imported with snorted, or if the random parenthetical exclamation is supposed to be the rhyming bit (like Lambo with no). There is no apparent rule here. Why am I worried about this shit? I can't believe I just wrote like 2 pages of words about this idiocy. You really should just avoid this whole thing.
This season's Off-White come in snorted (white)
Green Lamborghini a tortoise (Lambo)
No human being, I'm immortal (no)
[EDIT] I had to come back and add another note after reading the new article/interview about these dolts from the Feb. 8 Rolling Stone: "When they were younger, Migos had a 20-minute rule: They wouldn't spend longer than that coming up with a verse. Now, tracks take a little longer but one key to their sound is that they never write out their lyrics. They just freestyle and see what happens, which prevents them from overthinking things and lets instinct take over." Freaking idiots. And they go on in this article to talk about how they want to be the most famous people ever - you know how rappers got extremely famous in the past? They took the time to write out amazing rap lyrics!!! Amazing rap songs like "Fuck tha Police" or "6 in the Morning" or "Paul Revere" or "It Was a Good Day" or "Juicy" or "Mind's Playing Tricks on Me," those artists spent time crafting amazing, memorable lines that rhymed and told a cool story. How do the Migos not understand this? Why do I care so much?
Nothing More - The Stories We Tell Ourselves. Futhermucker. Another 18 song long album. While this one is just under an hour long, you people are killing me. So this band was nominated for all three of the Rock categories at the Grammys this year, and yet no one had ever heard of them. How does this band come along and get more nominations than anyone else in those categories? From that article above, this sounds like some insider garbage where their manager just used connections and pushed to get them noticed, even though the band is unknown even to hometown people. I mean, you'd really think that a great San Antonio band would make enough noise to be noticed up in Austin. Nope.
So, thought I'd give them a shot. This is pretty generic hard rock stuff, lots of super-double-poundfest kick drums with Korn-esque slappy bass and vocals that sound kind of like Fall Out Boy meets Incubus meets Linkin Park. And the mix is relatively poor as well - on "Tunnels," for example, the cymbals/high hats in the chorus part sound muted/washed out terrible. Sounds like old mp3s did when the compression was jacked. So, I'll give you the track that was up for a Grammy, "Go to War," which is by far the most popular track on here at 9.3 million streams.
Mike Shinoda - Post Traumatic EP. Shiiiiiiiiiit. Brutal to hear the pain for Shinoda, losing Chester Bedingfield last year, and then immediately pouring out those feelings onto these three songs. I won't say these are classic Linkin Park songs, the beats leave something to be desired, but if you want to look into the mind of someone struggling with sadness and losing his friend to suicide, then this is your jam. One of these three tracks includes an interlude when you hear several guys leaving Shinoda sympathy voice mails. Heartbreaking. Seriously.
Sting & Shaggy - Don't Make Me Wait. Lord have mercy. Come on, Sting. I used to love you! This is terrible. Not as bad as the awkward and uncomfortable mess on the Grammys where you were semi-busking in the subway, but bad stuff.
Jack White - Corporation. Huh. Kind of funky with soul-tastic organs. Kind of southern rock with the Allman-esque guitar at the start. Kind of freaky weird when it goes into a freakout in the latter half and White keep screaming and then asking who is with him. Interesting intro to the new album to be released soon, although definitely not a radio hit.
Unknown Mortal Orchestra - American Guilt. Oh hell yeah. Now this is the one that should have been Jack White. These psych rock weirdos bring some guitar fuzz and raucous thump. Dig it. Loved this group's last album, hope the new one comes out soon.
Lord Huron - Ancient Names (Part 1). Loved his last album and the opportunity to see him play twice at ACL. This one goes a little more out there, almost into the Tame Impala-ish psych sound. Pretty catchy chit after a slow Renaissance Faire start.
The Sword - Deadly Nightshade. Whenever people cream about Mastadon's music, I just come back to these dudes being similar but better. And local, which is also rad. This song is good heavy stuff.
The Vaccines - Nightclub. Sounds like Franz Ferdinand. I like it.
Drake - God's Plan. As usual with Drake, I generally enjoy the beat and the flow. I catch myself grooving to the track. But once he's past the telling the girl not to roll up and cuddle with him at 6am, the lyrics drop into a boring hole. here is the chorus:
God's plan, God's planErrr, OK. I feel like I missed the part of that which could be seen as God's plan? Is God planning for you to become him? Was it God's plan for you to "go hard" on a particular direction of the compass? Oh, or was the loaves and fishes miracle where God's son fed the multitudes done on the north-side of Bethsaida? GOOD REFERENCE!!! Also, I cannot permit someone to get away with saying "'nessed" as a shortened form of "finessed." GTFOH. Scary thing - that throwaway track just broke records for streaming numbers, and it isn't even special. Drake is truly baffling to me.
I hold back, sometimes I won't, yuh
I feel good, sometimes I don't, ayy, don't
I finessed down Weston Road, ayy, 'nessed
Might go down a G.O.D., yeah, wait
I go hard on Southside G, yuh, wait
I make sure that north-side eat
Danger Mouse, Run the Jewels, Big Boi - Chase Me. This one was nominated for a Grammy, but I'd never heard of it. Apparently a tune from the Baby Driver soundtrack. Danger Mouse is truly one of the most interesting dudes in the world. I so wish that I had the patience to sit down and make beats. I feel like I know enough music to where I could come up with some rad sounds to mash together. But I spent like an hour fighting garage band one night to make one mediocre track and would die if that was my job. Anyway, OK track - good beat, relatively toothless verses from otherwise great rappers.
My New Stuff playlist is now officially empty. Such a freeing moment. Time to go hunt for some new action.
1 comment:
I am listening to Migos for the first time. Now, I love Migas. It's a delicious Mexican breakfast.
Migos are absolute garbage and make me mad that people like them. They are rap diarrhea.
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