Predicting ACL 2020: Major Tours

Normally, I like to do a post that looks at all of the other festival lineups of the year (like this one from 2018), but Rob Mitchum has apparently stopped making the spreadsheet that I used to get all of that information in one place.  Which is super lame.  And after looking online for 30 seconds, I couldn't find a comparable listing of all festival lineups mashed together for my convenience, so I'm super not going to do that post this year if it means looking at posters myself.  That would take at least 8 minutes.

So, instead, I'll look at those artists who are supposed to have big tours this year, to see what their schedule looks like and if ACL can fit into those spots.  I'm using a few lists online of "anticipated" or whatever tours, so if you don't see your favorite in here, blame Google.  Or tell me what else is coming, and I'll dig in to that as well.

I also left out the more minor bands/artists - trying to think about headliner, or at least the big type people, so leaving out someone like Schoolboy Q or Angel Olsen.  Also, leaving out Tame Impala or Brittany Howard or others who just played ACL last year.

• My Chemical Romance.  I thought about adding these guys to the whole "Old Guys" lineup, just because they were ostensibly broken up, but I feel like they "broke up" for all of eight minutes, so I'll just keep them here.  The big news the other day was that they have not only re-formed, but that they are also about to go on tour in 2020.  Confession here - this is one of my guilty pleasure bands.  They're kinda emo, kinda high school drama club, but whatever dude, I still like to jam both Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge and The Black Parade.  Anyhoo, they're about to hit the road, with dates in Australia first, and then the US by September.  Sadly for me, no Austin dates on the calendar, and they'll be in Denver and Tacoma for weekend one, and then Sacramento and Vegas for weekend two.  So no chance for me to scream about how "I'm not O fucking K!" with a crowd of Gen X dads in eyeliner.  No.
• Adele.  Her website has this weird letter to the fans on it about cancelling shows at Wembley a few years ago when her voice gave out on her.  Which is odd.  You can probably take that down now?  Also, whatever website said she might tour this year, is full of it.  Nothing on her website says anything about a tour, and this article from 2017 says she may never tour again.  So, I could have deleted this line, but I'll leave it in since I just spent four whole minutes googling her for your benefit.  No.
• Vampire Weekend.  Playing the South American Lollas, and the Paris Lolla, as well as a bunch of other Fests, including Bonnaroo (booked by C3).  Their touring schedule doesn't quite fit with Chicago's Lolla, they will be playing Montreal on the Friday night of Lolla.  They could still make it for the other two nights.  BUT, the tail end of their tour leaves an absolutely perfect gap for ACL.  They play Tulsa on Sept. 30, then have shows in New Orleans and Alabama on October 6 and 7 (which is the Tuesday and Wednesday of the week in between the two ACL weekends).  I had been hoping for them to come last year, but they booked two nights of sold out shows in Austin not long before the Fest, so it didn't happen.  I think this looks really solid.  Yes.
• The Avett Brothers.  Playing Austin (with the Violent Femmes?  That seems weird.) at the end of April.  Also, playing three sold out nights at Red Rocks, which is wild.  They have a perfect gap for Lolla, with nothing scheduled between July 24 and Aug. 8.  Tour is over in mid September with a date in Vienna.  I won't say that I'm super psyched to see them again, the new album isn't my favorite of their stuff, but they're a pretty good band and they appear to have the time in their schedule, so I'll give it a yes.
• Rage, Springsteen, Elton, Dixie Chicks, and Bon Jovi - talked about these dudes in the Old People post.
• Coldplay.  Another one that is a big fat pssssyyyyyych.  They have zero tour dates on the calendar, and in fact, last year they said that they won't tour for this album (and they claim they won't tour again until touring becomes more environmentally friendly).  So, this is a no.  Which is too bad - I'd still really like to see them live.
• Harry Styles.  This one just smells right.  We've gone into this style of music recently, with Camilla Cabello and Shawn Mendes, so this sort of pop rock stuff is no longer a stretch for ACL.  He plays Houston, San Antonio, and Dallas in mid-August.  But, he's in Mexico on the Saturday of Weekend One, and then Brazil and Argentina for the Friday and Sunday of Weekend Two, so that isn't smelling as sweet anymore.  He could probably figure it out to come, but I really doubt it with that schedule in place.  No.
• Pearl Jam.  Be still my beating heart.  Please, please, please let me get what I want.  The fact that they are touring at all gets me excited, but the idea that they might come back to ACL has me positively turgid.  Playing Lolla Stockholm, Lolla Paris, and then their tour "ends" on July 23, right before Lolla Chicago.  You know they're not really done in July.  Come on.  No dates in Texas at all, no date in Chicago, so this certainly looks like an incomplete touring schedule that could absolutely soon be revised to include both Lollapalooza and Austin.  WHICH WOULD BE FREAKING AWESOME!  I'm going to give in to the joy and hope and go for it.  Yes.
• Taylor Swift.  Playing a handful of European fests like Mad Cool, Glastonbury, and Roskilde, but the tour, as of now, ends in Boston on August 1.  So she's not making it to Lolla.  Years ago, I would have given this an automatic no - ACL doesn't do mega pop stars - but that has changed over time.  Now we do get megapop.  I mean, we've never had TayTay, but we've had folks from the next tier down show up.  I'm still of the mind that they wouldn't get her for Austin, but she'd be a massive draw, and her schedule currently has the time, so who knows?  It could happen.  I'm going to stick with my gut for now though and say no.
• Green Day.  They are currently on tour with Weezer and Fall Out Boy (of all things), and they come through Dallas and Houston on the same dates as Lolla.  For some reason, I thought their tour came through Austin, but apparently not.  The tour is over on August 29, so they will have the time to swing to Austin and jam out.  But I'm not feeling it.  Something about them touring with Fall Out Boy rubs some of the shine off of their status to me.  They could totally do it, but without also playing Lolla, I'm gonna say no.  
• Post Malone.  This freaking guy.  I hope he's not coming, but he very well could be a headliner.  I wish I could type in a way that evoked his weird mega tremelo.  Thiyiyiyiyiyiyis guy blohohohohohohohohows so haoaoaoaoaoaoaoard!  He's playing the Erwin Center on March 10, but that's not so close to the Fest to preclude him showing up at both.  However, there are still a ton of tickets available for that show, so maybe it makes no sense to have him come to ACL if he can't even sell out a regular show.  [hopeful thoughts...]  His tour peters out in June, so he would have the time to make it to ACL, but I'm hoping that he is not going to!  No.
• Sturgill Simpson.  Another guy who is playing the Erwin Center in March.  Another one who is not sold out either.  And like Malone, his tour ends in May, so he has the time and space to come out to ACL.  But, without more information I don't see any reason to predict this one.  No.
• The Black Crowes.  I'm so pissed that they are coming here in June - I'll be out of town that week so I can't go.  I still love their first two albums - absolute classics.  Their tour ends just right before ACL, with a show in LA on Sept. 19, so they could pull it off.  And I'd be thrilled!  But it doesn't feel like they would - a non-sold-out Austin show in June, no new music that I know of, just doesn't seem like a buzzworthy band that the kids would get pumped to see.  No.
• The 1975.  Playing Austin in April, and show isn't sold out.  Nevermind, they'll be in Spain for Weekend one and Belgium/Germany for weekend two.  No.
• Dave Matthews Band.  Hmmm.  The tour finishes right before ACL with a 9/23 final show in Mississippi.  And not a single show, as the tour is currently listed, is in Texas.  Which seems odd, right?  Durant, Oklahoma can get two nights, but neither Dallas nor Houston get anything?  Huh, that feels like maybe the right call.  Maybe they are holding up on listing the other dates because they are playing Houston, Dallas, and San Antonio on the nights in between the two weekends.  Hmmmm....  I like it.  Going with a yes.
• BTS.  I feel like a fraud even mentioning them.  I have no clue what the deal is with them, but I also get that they are exceedingly popular.  Playing two nights at the Cotton Bowl in Dallas, and then the tour stops in July.  No reason to imagine them coming here and serenading a crowd in Korean.  No.
• Foo Fighters.  That is not a tour.  Their website shows seven festival dates.  I'm not sure I'm entirely ready for them to come back so soon either, quite frankly.  But this doesn't really look like a tour, even if Grohl told people they had "big plans" in 2020.  Nope.

There were a couple others that some websites said should be announcing a tour soon - Kendrick Lamar, Lana Del Rey, Beyonce - but there is no indication now that they are doing a big tour, so I dropped them from this list for now.

If these predictions are true, I'm all set for a supremely awesome and bro-tastic ACL.  Pearl Jam?  Vampire Weekend?  Avett Brothers?  Dave Matthews Band?  My college dorm called and they've got my beer bong.  I would be positively giddy to get all four of those on the schedule.

Quick Hits, Vol. 242 (Beck, Brockhampton, Highwomen, Blink 182)

Beck - Hyperspace.  I love Beck.  I love the funky Beck, the serious Beck, the rock Beck, the love-lorn Beck, the weirdo pushing all boundaries, all of them.  Which makes me very sad to confront this new Beck album, which is not very interesting to me at all.  It aligns closely with a more R&B sound - more modern beat sounds that aren't quirky or weird or original sounding - and a dearth of fun on any of the songs.  "Uneventful Days" came on the radio the other day, and I turned it up to really try to dig in and see if I could find the thread that other people were finding.  The music itself sounds like Vangelis was hired away from the Blade Runner soundtrack by Nintendo in 1989 to try to make the pause screen music for Metroid, and he tried to capture the flavor of Phil Collins' hit "Take Me Home" while still staying true to both himself and the Nintendo brand, but it wasn't good enough for them.  And lyrically?  Sad sack, defeatist musings of a guy with nothing to do but pine for his lost lover - which could be interesting, right? - but instead of pretty generic.  First verse is as follows: 

"I don't even know what's wrong (The days without you)
Ever since you've been gone
Only ten minutes to go (Leave me cold and alone)
I don't even know you now
I don't know where you're from (From my world without you, no)
I don't know where you belong
I don't wanna hurt you (No, no, no)
I don't wanna let you go (Gonna leave me alone)"

I mean, come on man.  That just looks like something he threw together in 2 minutes.  Also, is that autotune?  Illegal.  St. Vincent created a remix - you can hear it on Spotify, and at least it drops out the bad synth track in favor of some funky basslines and smeary organ weirdness.

"Saw Lightning" is a little interesting, just because its a weird swamp boogie of a tune and not quite like anything Beck has done before, but its a little overly repetitive.  I like the classic beat on "Die Waiting," and the way the bright chorus singing soars over it, even though the song itself isn't great.  But then "Chemical" is so generically bad R&B - effects on his voice, finger snaps over 808 bass bumps and trap clicks, a lame sung hook/chorus about being "so high" because her "love is a chemical."  "See Through" is likewise bad both on the beat and the lyrics.  Totally uninteresting song.  So disappointing.  I am so glad to see that "Chemical" is the current top track for Spotify popularity from this album, so that I can give a reason for you to hear its genericness for yourself.

The YouTube comments are falling all over themselves about how amazing this song is.  The "woah woah woah woah woah woah part," and the rap piece just set my skin on edge.  Leave the trap R&B to the flash-in-the-pan kids, Beck.  You stick to the original, inventive, future-sounds instead of biting on the trends.  Which is the real bummer here.  In the past, he put out Odelay when no one was doing anything like that.  He did Midnight Vultures when no band was doing anything quite so funky.  He dropped Sea Change out of left field.  So for this one to just sound like any other current R&B artist produced by Pharrell is a big bummer to me.

Brockhampton - GINGER.  I had a serious Brockhampton crush a year ago, seeing them three times in a week-long span with two ACL performances and then one more encore show at Stubbs.  They're uneven for me - I much prefer the real rap tracks over the pure R&B introspection tunes, and this album cruises that same line.  I prefer "BOY BYE" or "ST. PERCY" or "IF YOU PRAY RIGHT" over the title track or "SUGAR" or "DEARLY DEPARTED," and even the former tracks aren't nearly as good as the best stuff on Saturation.  Which I think is still due, in part, to the fact that they kicked Ameer Vann out of the group, and he was one of their better rappers.  Of course, the top track at 74.7 million streams is one of the autotuned R&B tracks - "SUGAR."

Very weird video vibe there.  Song is OK - just not my style of music I would gravitate to.  I don't hate the album, but I think I'll stick to the classic tracks from Saturation over these.

Highwomen - The Highwomen.  Great concept and album - as I have mentioned, I'll follow Brandi Carlisle just about anywhere she is headed, so I'm in to this one.  I get some serious Sheryl Crow vibes on some songs, and then Dolly Parton vibes elsewhere (see "Cocktail and a Song"), and the whole schtick of covering the "Highwayman" song, but changing up the lyrics to reference women in those same sorts of situations, is really well done.  I like that song for sure.  I figured it would be their most streamed, but it actually comes in third, after "Crowded Table" and "Redesigning Women," which boasts 8.7 million.

A good tune.  "Wheels of Laredo" and "Crowded Table" are very pretty as well, and "If She Ever Leaves Me" is a very good one.  If you're into country music, then this is the good stuff - lovely voices, good harmonies, classic instrumentation without interloping 808s or guitar firework solos.

Blink 182 - NINE.  This one will truly live up to the title of these posts, and be very quick.  No.  I was on the fence about liking this bratty pop-punk back in the Clinton administration, but now this all sounds the same.  Whiny, bratty, generically mediocre pop rock with a great drummer.  "I Really Wish I Hated You" is tops with 16.8 million streams.

They were best when they were funny, and nothing about these songs is funny at all to me.  No.

Quick Hits, Vol. 241 (Post Malone, Pip Blom, Willie Nelson, Fontaines DC)

Post Malone - Hollywood's Bleeding.  Can't stand this guy.  Not sure why I subject myself to the music, other than just to make sure that I know what is going on.  "Allergic" sounds like a very shitty Blink 182 song that contains a 50's doowop chorus.  Also, something I'm not sure that I ever really noticed before listening to this whole album a few times - what up with all of the vibrato he puts into his voice sometimes?  It's almost cartoonish, the amount of shake he adds to his sustained notes, like he's doing the Woody Woodpecker laugh in the midst of a note.  And the majority of these tunes/beats are just plain and bad.  "A Thousand Bad Times" is just the simplest drum beat with some flat synths smearing around in the background.  There is a freaking garbage song on here that features Ozzy.  17 songs, and while its somehow less than an hour on runtime, it feels like an eternity.
Just going to note that "Sunflower" has ONE POINT THREE FUCKING BILLION STREAMS!!!  This is insane.  "Wow." is, by comparison, a failure at only 819 million streams.  That is freaking wild.  "Circles" brings up the rest of the pack, at 587 million streams.  Which is insane.

I mean, the production values on that video are top notch.  Too bad all they could get for the backing music is a generic Soul Asylum b-side they decided not to use during their Grave Dancers Union sessions.  Now that I'm being really critical about the tunes behind these songs - that might be the worst part of it all.  I mean, it also sucks to hear him sing, but that could be forgiven if there was some dope beat that was jamming out in the background.  Most of these don't even have a mediocre track in the background.  Bad music.

Pip Blom - Boat.  Not sure where I found this one, but it's solid.  Kind of a Courtney Barnett vibe to the tunes - loose, raw, lo-fi guitar rock and unremarkable vocals (although apparently from Netherlands, not Australia, which had been my guess).  No song on here really steps out as the obvious hit or song for radio, but the overall vibe of the album is very good.  Feels like an unearthed gem.  "Ruby" has 346k streams.

Kind of a Parquet Courts/The Strokes vibe - a couple of bored Brooklyn kids noodling around on some instruments before Pip (actually her name?!?!) pipes up to voice her indecision and anxiety.  Catchy, poppy, but definitely rooted in rock and guitar, I enjoy the album.

Willie Nelson - Ride Me Back Home.  So good to hear Willie sounding really good again.  You just never know if we are at the end with Willie yet, but his voice sounds solid (although he's not really pushing it much) and the original tunes on here are good.  His Guy Clark cover, of "My Favorite Picture of You," is beautiful and perfectly paced.  Not so sure about the Billy Joel cover ("Just the Way You Are") as that song just screams schmaltz and cheese to me, but it doesn't sound horrible or anything.  It's his 69th studio album, which is damn ridiculous.  That CLark tune is the top streamer, at 965k, so here you go.

So nice.  The whole album is the same - kind of jazzy, nothing hard or loud - but a good capture of the latest stages of Willie's time in the studio.  I can't imagine that he makes it much longer = although I'd like to go try to see him one last time before its all over.

FONTAINES D.C. - Dogrel.  When this one starts up, I keep thinking it is IDLES, who I saw rip stuff up at ACL this year.  But no, totally different band (who also sings crushing punkish rock songs) with kind of funny and weird lyrics.  Like the moment, with no context that I can comprehend, where he sings that a "cabby pissed on the wheel of his own car."  I just went and read the lyrics to that song, and have no clue what any of it is on about.  "Too Real" has a good, driving beat and guitar work - a little cleaner, a little more radio ready (if anything on this album could ever be radio ready).  But "Boys in the Better Land" is the current streaming winner at 4.7 million, so you'll get that one.

Good tune - another one of those that seems more like a random stream of consciousness than any sort of message-bearing group of lyrics.  And I like his Irish accent.  This album overall is fine - I like it and enjoy bashing around to it, but nothing on here is so memorable that it sticks to me afterwards.

Quick Hits, Vol. 240 (Tool, Lana Del Rey, Sam Fender, Pixies)

Tool - Fear Inoculum.  Tool is an interesting band to me.  If I think about their catalog, which until recently I had to do through old mp3s I have on my home computer, because their albums weren't up on Spotify for streaming, I think that their first album is slightly different, but then since then, I would be hard pressed to tell you which album contains which song.  They all just bleed together in this mass of syncopated rhythms, thudding bass, repetitive guitar chugs, and Keenan growls and wails.  Don't get me wrong, I will absolutely crank "forty-six and two" or "sober" or "schism" when those come on the radio or pop up in my angry Pandora station.  But if there is an appreciable difference in the songs on this album, that was not present on their last album, I'd be genuinely shocked.  The top song is the title track with 27.4 million streams.  Buckle in for ten minutes, buckaroo!

I like it just fine.  And they've even used those drums before that some in near the beginning, sounds like "sober" redux.  I like the way it builds up as well.  It's a good tune.  But nothing on here is lighting me up to where I feel like I need to save this album to my saved disc list - more likely I'll just go shuffle Tool songs when I want a fix of this particular flavor of rock.  Also, an hour and twenty six minutes for ten songs?  Come on, man.

Lana Del Rey - Norman Fucking Rockwell.  I listened to this one a bunch of time the other day because it was on several end of year lists.  I actually don't hate it.  Several of the songs have a Fiona Apple vibe that I dig, and the cover of Sublime's "Doin' Time" is very enjoyable.  This one is the second biggest streamer, and has a nice, depressing, relaxed vibe to it - "Mariner's Apartment Complex."  66.5 million streams.

That being said, I'm not going to save this album.  I like some chill tunes, but this is a little theatric for me.

Sam Fender - Hypersonic Missiles.  One of the best things I discovered at ACL this year.  Well, that isn't exactly true, I discovered the music while preparing for ACL, and was psyched to see the guy, and then he fell ill and had to cancel the show.  Major bummer.  This is great rock and roll stuff reminiscent of Bruce Springsteen and The Killers.  The title track is the key song - wait for that saxophone and try to act like this isn't homage to the Big Man.

Lyrically, he does a good job as well all over this album.  I dig the groove of "Play God."  I dig the sad story contained in "Dead Boys."  I dig the Strokes-ian guitar and soaring vocals of "Will We Talk?"  This is a good album that I'll keep.

Pixies - Beneath the Eyrie.  Dammit, Pixies.  Why couldn't you just let it be?  Actually, I have a confession to make about the Pixies.  I really don't like them very much.  Back when I was in high school, I dug Doolittle with a friend of mine who was very into the band, and so I went out and bought all of their albums and immersed myself in it.  But, I've realized over time that I really don't care for it.  The last time I bought a new phone, I took the time to load up a good number of full albums that I could listen to when the internet was down or whatever.  And now, when the shuffle brings me something from Surfer Rosa (or Doolittle, for the most part), I'm ready to forward the song almost immediately.  I know this harms my cool status in the music world, but really I'd just say that I still enjoy a couple of songs - "Where is My Mind?," "Here Comes Your Man," "Gigantic," or "Monkey Gone to Heaven" - but even ones I used to think were cool, like "Gouge Away," I'd skip now if presented with them.  I think they gained a lot of hipster cred whenever "Where is My Mind?" was used at the end of Fight Club, so they get more interest than I think they should anymore.

So, these songs may not be as bad to you as they seem to me - they just seem like the most generic versions of their old style, which bums me out.  "On Graveyard Hill" is the top streamer at 2.4 million, but it doesn't crack their ten most popular on Spotify.

Eh.  Its definitely better than some of the other songs on this album, but it ain't great.  I feel like the drums might doom it - they're stilted sounding or something.  Anyway, I'm OK without this one.  Sorry if you are disappointed in me.

ACL 2020: Predictions: Old Folks [EDIT]

Happy Prediction Season!

I'm doing this one again, despite being a wonderfully insightful zero for five last year with my predictions of old folks who might come to the Fest.  WHATEVER!  No need to be right, right?  Everyone just loves to get their hopes up and then have them dashed to the ground when Drake clogs up the spot I had promised would go to the Stones!  So fun!

For this first prediction blog, I thought I would look for the old people who might be on tap.  Last year, I'd consider Guns N Roses and The Cure to be oldies but goodies, with zero recent music but huge fan bases nonetheless.  Two years ago, it was Paul McCartney (and to some extent, David Byrne) who made the Festival into a must-see for die hard music people, regardless of genre.  2017 didn't have anyone like that (although I would argue that Jay-Z acted like he was a 76 year old just there to get paid and get back on the bus).  2016 had Willie Nelson (and to some extent, LCD Soundsystem and Radiohead) as the old school legacy act you needed to see one more time before he dies.  So, who might be our non-currently popular headliner this year?

For this, I'm listing bands that either are broken up, don't put out current music, or otherwise seem like nostalgia acts who may show up here.

Fleetwood Mac.  They were on tour last year, but this year don't seem to have any dates at all on their calendar.  So, nope.  Stevie Nicks is on tour (sorta) with dates at Jazz Fest, Governors Ball, and something called Jazz Aspen Festival in Snowmass, CO.  She's done with those dates by Sept. 6, so she has the time to announce ACL.  Personally, I wouldn't be that excited to see Nicks on her own, but I could see this being popular with all of the young ladies out there who cite Nicks and her scarf collection as an influence.  Maybe.

Bruce Springsteen.  He claims to be going on tour in 2020, which is promising.  But as of right now, his website has a totally blank touring schedule, so there is no way to know what might be coming.  I'll just keep my fingers crossed, despite the intelligent side of my brain saying this will never happen.  Likely not.

R.E.M.  PLEASE?!?!?!  There's just about no way.  Almost every article about them explains that they broke up happy and there's no reason to revisit that decision.  WHICH BLOWS!!!  No.

Rage Against the Machine.  Hell yeah.  I hope this one will work.  They announced a headlining slot at Coachella last year, and then a tour poster leaked showing dates at several other festivals throughout 2020.  Which really should mean that they'll be here for ACL.  That same article right there claims that an anonymous person has claimed responsibility for creating the fake poster, but it seems weird that the official RATM account would have shared the fake?  Smells real to me.  However, this poster shows them in Rio on the Saturday of weekend one, which sure would make it exhausting for them to still show up in Austin and play on either Friday or Sunday.  That takes a little of the wind out of my sails.  Screw it, I'm still gonna go with it.  Yes. 

[EDIT] - but, RATM was just announced for headliner at Boston Calling (May 22-24) (which has an extremely awesome lineup, with Foos, Rage, Chilis, Jason Isbell, Run the Jewels, and others) and Firefly (June 18-20).  Neither of those Fests are listed on that potentially fake tour poster, so it seems like another nail in the coffin for that being fake.  BUT, it also is good that they are headlining two other Fests, and may have no conflict with that Rio show.  Feeling even stronger about this one.

Last year, I was sure we might get Dead & Company, which would have been awesome to me.  That obviously did not happen.  They aren't on tour this year, and the only show on their calendar is at Jazz Fest, so I don't see this one happening.  No.

Elton John.  Elton's Farewell Yellow Brick Road tour started back in September 2018 and included past dates in both Houston and Dallas, but none in Austin.  AND ITS STILL GOING.  I don't know if I could take being that guy, still doing the farewell tour like 18 months in a row.  Plugging away at the same greatest hits show every night...  He's in New Zealand and Australia right now, with Canadian dates to come, before ducking back into the States for another bite.  He hits Dallas and Houston for two more dates each in June and July, but again doesn't come to Austin.  He takes a big break with nothing scheduled in August, but then picks back up in September in Germany.  Which means he is in Spain for weekend one, and France for weekend two, so it looks like no "Honky Cat" for you!  No.

Rolling Stones.  Their tour just wrapped up at the end of 2019, so I don't see how this makes any sense with their current touring schedule.  If they add more shows, then maybe we'll revisit, but that was like a 3 year tour, that included a health scare for Jagger, so I don't see it.  Nope.

[EDIT]  There was some excitement last week, as a big Rolling Stones-themed mural was painted on the side of the old Le Bare at Congress and Riverside, so people were curious if that meant an appearance at ACL, or a stand-alone concert.  It's now been announced that it is a stand-alone concert, Memorial Day Weekend, at Circuit of the Americas.  So yeah, they won't be coming back for ACL.

Kiss.  Nah, they play Austin on October 1, so there is no reason for them to bring their show to ACL.  (which is good news in my opinion)

Madonna.  Every year, I hope that my research will lead me to believing that she'll be here.  Every year, I find nothing to lead me to believe.  This year is no different.  She's playing a bunch of shows at the London Palladium, then a bunch at a place in Paris called the Grand Rex, but then is done by March 11.  No reason to expect an ACL appearance.  Sadly.  No.

Aerosmith.  Man, I loved me some Aerosmith back in the day.  "Back in the Saddle" used to get me all sorts of riled up.  They went off the rails in the mid-90's, but their stable of hits is unquestionable.  The interesting thing is that they played the Grammys last night, and seem to have a little more interest and noise around them right now.  They continue to have a Las Vegas residency going on, with multiple dates per week at the MGM, but then in June the shoot off to Europe for some shows and festivals.  Those dates end on July 27, before a Sept. 18 show at Fenway Park.  Which means they could fit Lolla Chicago (7/30 to 8/2) and ACL (early October) into their plans pretty easily.  This would stay in line with some of the recent old guy headliners - feels pretty good to me.  Yes.

The Cure.  No.  They just played here.

George Strait.  I mean, this is just wishful thinking.  He wouldn't get the same reception as anyone else on this list - even if he is the MAN with regard to modern country music.  He purportedly retired a few years ago, but his touring page shows a handful of shows this year.  None conflict with ACL dates, so this is theoretically possible.  I don't buy it.  No.

Billy Joel.  In my opinion, he's not nearly the draw that Elton or Fleetwood or most of these old bands are, but at the same time, singing "Piano Man" and "Captain Jack" at the top of my lungs with 70,000 other people would be pretty sweet.  Huh.  His current tour has a gap between July 10 and August 15, leaving him time for Lolla, and then ends on Sept. 11, so his schedule has time for both of those.  My instinct, just based on how popular I think he'd be with the young folks, it that this one wouldn't happen.  But it would also fall in line with some of the nostalgia action we've had recently.  Still going to go with my gut and say no.

Ozzy Ozbourne.  He's just recently announced a Parkinson's diagnosis, so I don't see any way that he would keep touring.  But his website shows more tour dates starting up in May. There is an ACL sized gap from July 31 to October 23, but I hope, for his sake, that is just a space for him to rest and relax.  It honestly bums me out that he is still touring.  No.

Bob Seger.  He just finished his purported last tour ever, so I'm just going to go with No.

Queen + Adam Lambert.  I think they missed out on this last year - after the biopic and awards season lavishing the movie with praise - it felt like the right time.  But this year I wouldn't say the buzz would be as hot, and their tour is all European, Japanese, and Australia dates before it peters out in June.  I see no reason for them to come to ACL.  No. 

The Who.  I just read an article/interview about the Who and their current tour, and it bummed me out.  Reading about bandmates who detest each other, and Townshend being glad that two of his old school bandmates have died, was not my favorite rock and roll story. Their tour brought them through Dallas for a non-sold out show last year, and they'll be swinging back through in April (with another date in Houston also in April), and then it looks like they head to Vegas for six shows at Caesars.  All done by May.  They're playing Jazz Fest, but no other big festivals on the docket.  I think that makes this one unlikely, so I'll say no.

Bob Dylan.  Appears to be on his neverending tour for all time, but this year just has all April dates in Japan, and then nothing else. I guess I'll go with a no. 

The Eagles.  The tour is still plugging along, with five upcoming shows in Texas (2/29 to 3/17, three in Dallas and two in Houston), and ending with two at Wembley at the end of August.  So again, they could have the time to do it, but would they?  I still hold that The Big Lebowski killed their ability to grab the Gen X and Millennial generations.  So even though this one looks technically possible, I'm going to go with no.

AC/DC.  No tour dates currently announced, but they've recently said that there will be a new album this year and a tour following - although this article says "a tour of the band's native Australia," which would obviously not include Austin, Texas.  Until I hear more about the tour being bigger than just down under, no.

Bon Jovi.  I can't decide if this would excite me or not.  On the one hand, singing a lot to several of those big, classic hits would be highly enjoyable.  "Livin' on a Prayer" or "You Give Love a Bad Name" or "Bad Medicine" or whatever - that would be a good time.  But I'm not sure I could see that for a full two hours from this band.  As of now, they have a short tour going on that includes June stops in San Antonio and Dallas, and then ends at the end of July.  So, they could ostensibly show up at both Lolla and ACL.  And I think they'd sell some nostalgia tickets.  But until they announce something else, like more tour dates or any festival dates (nothing on this tour appears to be a Fest), then I'm not so sure.  Maybe.

Dixie Chicks.  Are they broken up?  They certainly seemed that way years ago.  I get to see them play in about a week, with Gary Clark Jr., and I'm pumped.  But beyond that, there are exactly zero tour dates on their calendar.  Like I said in my All Protest lineup prediction, they'd make great sense for the Fest, but without more information, I see no reason to guess this is true.  No.

Neil Young.  Of all the people on this list, this is one of the few who continues to put out new music.  I'm not in love with it or anything, but at least its new music.  I see no touring dates on his calendar, so no reason to think this one is happening, as of now.  No.

The Beach Boys.  They're playing Jazz Fest, and are on a pretty full tour, but they play Austin at the Bass Concert Hall in April (with tickets still available as of late January), so that doesn't smell like a solid choice.  Their current tour ends in August, so they'd have the time and space, but I'm not feeling it.  No.

Neil Diamond.  Not touring, so I'll go with a No.  But I could see people getting pumped up to sing along with the hits.

ZZ Top.  They're on tour, although I wouldn't put them on the top line of the ACL poster even if they came.  They are playing the Whitewater in New Braunfels in June though, so it doesn't seem like they would need to come back to the Austin area so quickly right afterwards.  I think they'd be cool to see, but I don't see this one as a draw or a reasonable guess.  Will go with no.

Loads of others I suppose I could look at, but I don't see a ton of point.  CSNY?  Oasis?  The Police?  The Kinks?  Led Zeppelin?  Nirvana?  White Stripes?  Talking Heads?  Pink Floyd?  Creedence?  Rush?  Uh, like, Genesis?  I think we all know those guys aren't getting back together for a slot at ACL.  Important members died, or they all hate each other, or whatever.  Who knows - maybe they'll prove me wrong and score a massive Pink Floyd reunion gig, but I doubt it very much.

And I know I'm super copping out with the maybe answers, but we are so early in the year that nothing is published for a lot of these tours past the summer.  Once we get a few months closer, we'll see if any new news would help discern who its gonna be.  In order of likelihood for them actually being on the poster, here are the three that pass on from this post:

1. Rage Against the Machine
2. Aerosmith
3. Bon Jovi
4. Stevie Nicks

Am I missing some important old band that very well could be making a run this year?  I'm definitely missing any sort of rap groups up there - whats left of Run DMC, NWA, Beastie Boys, Tribe Called Quest, Wu Tang Clan (weird that all of those are missing a member b/c of a death) - and then skipped over other smaller things (B-52s?  My Chemical Romance?  Nickel Creek?  Creed?  Limp Bizkit?  Uh, Sonic Youth?  I mean, there are loads of other bands we could think about).  But if you have one you think I need to add to this list for future reviews, holler.

My Albums of the Decade

The Teens!  The Tens!  The Twenty-Tens!  The Tenties!  Whatever you want to call it, it's a goner!  I know it is the cool thing to crap on the last decade and lament everything as horrible and depressing, but you know what?  It was a great decade!  My youngest kid was born then!  I made partner!  A new Thai place opened around the corner that has very yummy food!  The craft beer world exploded!  We got a dog and he's the coolest!  My wife learned to love bourbon!  I listened to some music and started a weird blog!  A lot of good stuff!

So, as tradition dictates, it is time to look back at an arbitrary section of history and make conversation related to personal opinions about things that cannot be objectively measured!  Hooray!  I've been wanting to write something up like this but kept putting it off.  It just seems like such a ridiculously huge undertaking, to think about ten full years of albums and sift through those and figure out which ones are THE BEST.  I was thinking about reading some sort of list of everything released from 2010 to 2019 and the very thought made my eyes shrivel into their sockets and call for their respective mothers.  Yes, each of my eyes has a different mother.  They are half-eyes.

I finally came up with a solution this morning that I think will work for me - you might think it is dumb, but you also are not the one writing this blog, yo.  Instead of an exhaustive review of all albums, I'm just going to think of the ten albums from that time period that I go back to and listen to repeatedly to this day.  True, that will not provide you with some sort of value calculus, like the main stream publications might do, explaining to you that Beyonce's album was a "thunderclap statement of marital collapse, personal triumph, radical blackness, Southern roots, and boundless musical vision."  Yeah.  If you want to find out about IMPORTANT albums or whatever, then go look at the lists published by many of the music sites.  (and while you're there you can see the rimjob that RS gives to Bowie's Blackstar - in fact, most of their top ten is whack.  That Lorde album is weak.  And Drake?  Top ten?  Nah).

So, without trying to order them, and without any real study to find out every single album that came out in the last ten years, I present to you my personal top ten.  I'd love to know yours, if you feel like hitting me up.

1. Tame Impala - Currents.  2015.  This is the first one that popped into my head.  I play it all the time.  It matches up really well with my mood a lot of the time, with a hip-hop-centric tone underlying the experimental psych rock crunchiness popping along the top.  Absolutely my most go-to album of the last decade.

2. Kacey Musgraves - Golden Hour.  2018.  Pretty sure this is the only one I have on this list that will make anyone else's top albums of the decade list.  I'll investigate that before I publish this, but I'm pretty sure that is true. [edit, not true - Taylor Swift was more popular]  This album is perfection.  It bounces between true country, oddball disco diss tracks, and soft rock action, and throughout are her excellent lyrics and gorgeous voice.  The last time I got to see her live was wonderful, mainly because of these songs.

3. Chris Stapleton - Traveler.  2015.  This was the second album that popped to mind as one of the discs I have never stopped listening to since it came out.  I have great memories with this one. The first time I heard it was during a rainy backporch hang with some friends in the dark of night in a canyon in the Hill Country, watching little waterfalls form and shift on the cliff walls ahead of us.  The time I really drilled it into my head was on a dove hunt east of downtown, with it playing on repeat in my shirt pocket while I waited for birds that likely never came.  It has soundtracked a few of my road trips with the family, its been a good go-to by the pool, and before each time I saw him, those nights were bookended with a heavy dose of this album.  BTW, if you haven't seen him live, he shreds.  His ACL taping was outrageous.  "Whiskey and You" is perfection.  "Daddy Doesn't Pray Anymore" is great.  Really, the whole damn album rules.

4. Kendrick Lamar - Good Kid, Madd City.  2012.  I know that all of the critic lists are going to have To Pimp a Butterfly as their selection for the important Kendrick album, but that disc has never clicked with me nearly so tightly as Good Kid.  The story woven through the album, the great lyrics, the tasty beats - I love this whole album.  I had it burned to a disc that just lived in my car CD player for years, so that anytime the radio got annoying, it was right back into the fantastic story of a crazy day in Compton.

5. Taylor Swift - Red.  2012.  This was the first album I ever reviewed for this blog, and then I was too nervous to actually post the dumb thing, thinking that it would hurt my street cred to be seen as loving TayTay's turn into pop.  Only later, once I had fully debased myself with bad music opinions, was I able to embrace my unfettered love for this album.  "22" is my favorite song of all of them, its up there with "Party in the USA" for favorite dance jam with my kids.  But the storytelling and lyrical goodness in "All Too Well" and "Begin Again" is the reason to come back to this one over and over. 

6. Black Keys - El Camino.  2011.  When I first unwrapped this disc in my car, I can clearly remember the visceral reaction to hearing "Little Black Submarines" for the first time.  I might have doubled over in pleasure.  I might have needed fresh underwear.  I might have fathered an orca.  "Gold on the Ceiling" is a jam as well, but nothing touches that gentle intro, leading into a crushing slam, like "Submarines."  That song slays.  It was a show highlight at their show last year.  And the whole album is damn good.  I frequently go back for another serving of this one when I need to peel away a lot of the indie stuff I listen to for the blog, and need to clean my palate with righteous rock.

7. The Beths - Future Me Hates Me.  2018.  Here's my cool guy pick.  Every good music critic has that one weird thing they have to include in their albums of the year to show that they are totally in the know and have exotic taste that you can't understand.  "oh, yeah, I'm totally into Icelandic shoegaze, bro.  You don't know kzzdyyke?"  Actually, this album is just so purely pleasing to me that it kept popping into my mind as I was thinking of albums - I kept trying to push it down out of the top ten, but then I'd throw it on again, and I'd fall in love all over.  Its my sweet spot of tuneful rock, with just a touch of wild abandon.  The title track rules, "Not Running" makes me want to cry and punch and run - hell, just about every song on here is a great little nugget of shiny rock pleasure.  No need to talk about them one by one, its all just greatness.

8. Run the Jewels 3.  2016.  I thought about making #2 the RTJ album that I put here, but #3 is the one that I can never get enough of.  I've also listened to #2 a ton, but #3 is the one that I've bounced enough to be able to keep up with their speedy ass lyrics.  It was also the new album out a few years ago when I saw these guys three times in the span of a week, including an ACL taping, which was supremely dope.  They apologized to the engineer who was going to have to figure out a way to censor their songs, because they didn't change a lick.  And my GOD it was loud.  I'll also never forget when the dudes in front of my turned around and gave me respect after I shouted along to the line: "a wise man once said, we all dead, fuck it!"  "Legend Has It" is the track to put on a rocket to show an alien about the lyrical prowess of Run the Jewels.

9. Beck - Morning Phase.  2014.  This was that perfect curveball from Beck - going from his usual electronic-infused rock and roll to dropping a beautiful album of comfortable, warm, 70's AM gold.  When no one else was doing that sound.  This one is also a go-to for road trips and times with the kids when we need something lush to relax to.  Not that I should put any stock in the dumb Grammys, but this also managed to snag Beck the Album of the Year award, in a surprising shock.  As you are about to see, I love just about everything Beck, and this one was a welcome slice of downtempo pleasure before the next one ramped up the action.

10. Beck - Colors.  2017.  When this disc came out, I just recall being floored.  He went from pure, organic throwback to purely orgasmic dance music, like it was nothing.  "Colors" and "WOW" were the two initial singles (unless I am mistaken), and both are these high energy, weirdly fun, pop nuggets that throw me into a good mood in a heart beat.  "I'm so Free" makes me want to grow wings and jump out of a window when the beat kicks in.  If you don't need to jump right then, or at least bob your head, then you should shop for a gravestone.  And "Dreams," especially the remix (which is inexplicably in the middle of the album while the normal version is at the end) is the centerpiece of the album - clean, bouncy, imminently sing-a-longable in the chorus slice of perfect pleasure.  This was my favorite album of 2017, and it still jams.


By the way, as proof that I have no concept of time anymore in my old age, I totally put Queens of the Stone Age's Songs for the Deaf in there, before realizing that it freaking came out in 2002.  Almost 20 years ago!  Holy crap!  Others that caught my eye - Sturgill Simpson's Sailor's Guide to Earth, Jay-Z & Kanye's Watch The Throne, Foo Fighters' Wasting Light, Vampire Weekend, Courtney Barnett's Sometimes I Sit and Think, First Aid Kit, Arcade Fire's The Suburbs, Arctic Monkey's AM, Queens of the Stone Age's Villains  - a bunch of others that I recall really liking, but since I'm trying to say only those that I go back to and actually listen to repeatedly, the ones up above are the winners.

And after taking a look at the major publications, I can very clearly say what the hell?  Frank Ocean?  No.  But Pitchfork has him in both the #1 and #10 slots?  Kanye's My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy (#1 for RS, #2 for Pitchfork, #4 for SPIN).  I mean, some of those tracks were good, but it doesn't hold a candle to his first two albums.  Right?  Am I crazy here?  Fucking SPIN put Yeezus up at #2!  That album is actively bad!  Robyn, Solange, Beyonce, Lorde?  I guess for some people, just no where even close for me.  Musgraves only makes #23 on Pitchfork, but #11 on RS.  Red made the top ten for RS, so that is encouraging or something.  And To Pimp a Butterfly made every top ten.  Good for him!

Quick Hits, Vol. 239 (Griselda, Mac DeMarco, Flying Lotus, A$AP Ferg)

Griselda - WWCD.  This was on someone's year end top ten list who I didn't feel like writing up the entire list, and its pretty solid.  Eminem discovered them, and they're sort of a combination between Wu Tang and Action Bronson.  I generally like the tracks - chilled, grimy beats - brags and boasts and bravado for the lyrics - but there is one thing that gets under my skin - they make WAY too many sounds of guns with their mouths.  It's OK for that to happen once or twice, or heavily on one song, but when every. single. song. involves multiple instances of a guy saying "THU THU THU THU THU!" it is over the top in a bad way.

But if you can leave out the gun mouth noises ("BBBBBDDDDRRRPPPP!"), the lyrics are pretty good and the sample-laden beat is cool, so I can dig it.  Very much a Wu/Ghostface feel there.  They get Eminem, Raekwon, and 50 Cent on tracks, so they've got star power, and I generally like the album, I just need them to relax the "BWP BWP BWP BWP BWP BWP!" business.  The funny thing about the Em verse is how out of place it feels, like the album was over and you have started something else.  He's just doing his usual nimble wordplay thing, but right after a pound of grimy bars from these other guys, it is jarring to have it dropped in at the end.  Good album.

Mac DeMarco - Here Comes the Cowboy.  I like DeMarco on general terms, but this one just takes that lazy day goofball aesthetic to further and further lengths, which feels like getting stuck in a vat of mental peanut butter.  The droning on "Nobody," combined with the tempo, and the flat little guitar plucks, and Mac's gently bummed out lyrics combine into the musical equivalent of a drugged nap on a warm day.  Of course, that track happens to be the top one on the album, so here you go.  14 million streams.

Its not a bad album if you want something very chilled out.  For me, every time it has come back up in my queue, I wish I could just forward to something else.

Flying Lotus - Flamagra.  Oh neat!  An album that is 27 freaking songs long!  Just the sort of thing I want to dive into and remain latched into for like 3 hours!  Actually, this one is only an hour and seven minutes long, it just looks intimidating.  As for the tunes - much of this is very weird, funk freakout stuff.  See "Takashi," an instrumental jam session at a breakneck speed.  He also brings George Clinton, Anderson.Paak, Tierra Whack, Solange, and other oddballs on board for some weird moments.  It's interesting, I suppose, but other than a few fun moments that don't last, it isn't great.  It is also very piecemeal - nothing cohesive here connecting the songs except for strangeness.  The Anderson.Paak song has the most streams - so here you go.  "More," with 5.8 million streams.

Nothing wrong with Paak's voice man, that guy is consistently great.  But the track itself isn't terribly exciting.  Also, the Denzel Curry track is pretty good.  More of a normal rap track with a steady beat, rather than a free-association-wig-out like her gave to Tierra Whack.  While I'm sure this album is viewed as inventive and original, I don't care for it.  Too manic for my tastes, with a million different ideas and sounds blasted at you over 27 songs.

A$AP Ferg - Floor Seats.  I like Ferg more than I probably should.  He has yet to put out a complete album that works from front to back, but he has moments that draw me in each time.  This one is the same.  The key draw is the first track, the title track, that samples the Prodigy song "Smack my Bitch Up," but at a super laid back, laconic pace, to create something that is a very cool throwback reminder, but its own thing.  Its the second song on the album, with a more traditional trap beat, that wins the streaming crown though, as "Jet Lag" has 24 million streams.

Lyrically, it's not his best, but the beat is tough and tight and I get why it might be a hit.  The end of the video cracked me up though...  I'm mad that I missed out when he came to town a few weeks ago - it was unfortunately the same weekend as the wife's birthday.  I don't think I'm going to save the whole album - I might save a song or two.

Books 2019

Just about every single year, I tell myself I'll read more and watch less.  I don't know how many nights I end up clicking on some Netflix thing that looks mediocre just so I have something to entertain me during the late hours when everyone else in the house is asleep.  I'd love to say I was awesome at cutting that out so that I could read (something I did with abandon as a child), but I'm still pretty mediocre at it.  Here's to 2020 being the year of the book!

Here is everything I read in 2019:

1. Stephen King - The Outsider.  While there is definitely a part of me that wants King to go back to the more supernatural-centric stuff of his old books, I'm also well aware that much of the meat of his old books, like this one, have nothing to do with the actual monster but instead focus on how the humans cope with the monster in their life.  Another quick, easy read from King, I crushed this one in like 3 days, with about half of it devoured on Father's Day when I had a good excuse to ignore everyone and read.  Two odd observations about this one, which he based in Oklahoma (for some reason).  The majority of his books have been based in Maine, and because he has inhabited that space all his life, the scenery and quirks of that environment are perfect.  For his vision of Oklahoma (and a little Texas), he very much made it Trump country, with repeated references to Trump signs and graffiti and ephemera.  OK, that is probably true, if a little odd (being that I don't recall his prior books ever mentioning signs for Reagan or Carter or Bush or Clinton, so why start that so heavily now?)  The other thing that I found odd is that the only beer that I recall being mentioned in the book is Shiner.  Like three different times - once when a main character was drinking them in his backyard, and a second time when talking about some litter.  I would honestly be surprised if anyone in Oklahoma drank much Shiner.  I think the more realistic thing for these characters to have in shitkicker rural Oklahoma is like Miller Lite or Budweiser.  But maybe I'm wrong and everyone in OK loves the taste of an old school University of Texas tailgate.  Anyway, I got off track here.  The book was good, I liked the characters and the development of the first conflict was very good.
2. Daisy Jones & The Six - Taylor Jenkins Reid.  I enjoyed this book, even though it was pretty well chock full or generic tropes of the rock and roll lifestyle.  Sex, drugs, & rock and roll, with some jealousy and egos rolled in.  More than anything, I wish they were a real band and I could hear the tunes.
3. Sound of Gravel - Ruth Wariner.  Oh fuck me, man.  This book was really hard.  We listened to it as an audible book on a road trip (with the kids in headphone-land) and the kiddie sexual assault and twisted life of the Mormon folks in this book is just disturbing.  I guess it was good?  It was a memoir, so I'll definitely say that the author did a damn good job of telling the story and making it all accessible, but its a really difficult story to listen to.
4. The Passage / The Twelve / The City of Mirrors - Justin Cronin.  A trilogy set in a dystopian future, written by a Rice professor and therefore containing a good number of fun Texas references.  The start is pretty plain - government idiots think they can control a discovered virus/sickness that turns people into vampire-ish things, but that doesn't work out and the whole world goes to hell.  But I very much enjoyed some of the little worlds that Cronin built in here, the California settlement, the Kerrville space, even the horrible one in Iowa, they all get rich detail that sucked me in even when some of the narrative threads got thin.  And that is the one downfall to this, to me, is that he stretches out this story into like 2,500 pages when it probably could have been told in half that.
5. Ben Ratliff - Every Song Ever.  This was a really damn hard read.  I read a glowing review of it in Rolling Stone a while back, and tossed it in the Amazon cart, to then receive it for Christmas.  I've spent the last three or four months slogging through the text.  The intro made it sound really interesting, discussing how the instant access to an unimaginably wide scope of music makes this one of the most interesting times for music.  He also talks, in that intro, about this unlimited source of music can be a bad thing, and lead to a calcification of taste and silo-ing into certain musical styles because the offering is otherwise so overwhelming.  This part sounded interesting to me.  And then the book itself is just a series of deep dive essays into individual aspects of music - like a chapter on sadness in music, or quiet in music, or whatever.  And he'll use some modern/mainstream examples, but then throw in some world music or obscure metal band, and so without actually going to Spotify and listening to the tunes (that I don't already know), it makes it hard to comprehend his point.  But there is little in the way of narrative or connective tissue, just him jumping around to different obscure pieces of music and noting how some certain aspect of those pieces of music reflect a certain attribute.  I think it would work much better as a video presentation or podcast, where could could play the bits of the songs he wants you to notice.
6. The Power - Naomi Alderson.  This book has an extremely cool concept - one day almost every 14-16 year old girl in the world suddenly gains the power to create electricity from their fingertips - but I didn't feel like it developed the story enough.  Quick and easy read - one of those where the characters each get a chapter at a time and then later some of them blend together.  And like I said, the concept, and what it would mean for the world if the balance of power - actual, physical, complete power - shifted to women, was a fascinating idea and a good spark to get my brain running in fun directions.  I just wish the stories would have been more fully fleshed out and some rabbit trails followed.  Felt like the author had this great idea but then had a deadline to publish.
7. Night Road - Kristin Hannah.  Oh God, this book was brutal.  We listened to it on audiobook thing while driving on vacation, and I was initially excited about it.  Her book The Nightingale was a solid story based in World War Two occupied France, so I was hopeful about this one.  No.  Instead, I got like 18 hours of tortured prose that focused very heavily on the style of clothing each character was wearing in any given scene, and page after page of describing how difficult grieving can be.  After a while, the wife and I just laughed at some of the tired and tortured lines.  Basic story is a teen dies because of drunk driving and the effect on everyone around the death.  Oh, and one of the character voices was the most annoying thing ever - I know its likely super hard to make a million different voices for all the characters in a book, but this was nails on chalkboard.  Also one of those where the resolution doesn't feel especially earned - like, I just spent seventeen and a half hours in despair and anger and sadness WITH NO WAY OUUUUUTTTT!, but then a switch flipped and we cool.  Nope.
8. The Last House Guest - Megan Miranda.  Also did this one via audiobook, and it was vastly better.  A who-done-it mystery set in a tiny Maine vacation town and following the lives of both the poorer locals and the filthy rich summer folks.  Held our attention well, the ending was a good surprise, and no major complaints.
9. Wise Blood - Flannery O'Connor.  Holy shit, this was a mind-fuck of a book.  If you read my normal blogging, then you know that I had reviewed Weyes Blood, the "band" made up of a lady who is a large fan of this book.  When I found that out, I needed to read the book, as O'Connor's short story collection was an old favorite.  This thing is crazy as hell, a weird, violent, contradictory tale of a confused young man who either loves or hates religion and is continually in a state of existential crisis.  Beautifully written (albeit with some offensive pieces that might have been more acceptable when the book was published).  Enjoyed it for sure.

Rock is Dead, Volume 4,238,109

I was minding my own business yesterday, just working on some work and listening to an album that someone had called top ten for 2019, when along comes my little brother, throwing bombs into my brain, with this e-mail:

Jack,
I ran across this article, but am too musically illiterate to form a point of view.  That said, thought you might enjoy:  https://thecritic.co.uk/issues/january-2020/the-year-the-music-died/
Ed

I went on to go and read that article, and became irrationally incensed in such a way that now I find the need to share this information with you.  Go read the article, and then when you come back, you can jam "The River" as you consider his argument.

My response to Ed: 

That guy is so full of shit.  I’d bet the binding on his thesaurus is split from trying so hard to come up with different important sounding words (and yet still using “pastiche” twice).  I don’t know how many “rock is dead” articles I have read – but for this one to draw a line at 1980 is fully asinine.  His descriptions of those two albums rely heavily on how they repeat the best of the old rock – the ways that they take historical rock pieces and combine them well (“stylistically retrospective”) and make it “fresh.”  So, he’s arguing for the strength of music that looks to the past.  Meanwhile, that runs counter to the exact argument that most people have made against rock right now – that nothing new is being made, these new bands aren’t original, it is just the Greta Van Fleet kids discovering their dad’s old Zeppelin records or Tame Impala finding it easy to remake the weirdest parts of the Beatles’ catalog.  If he thinks the perfect rock records were made up of a patchwork of what came before, then his argument should be that rock is alive and well today, because that is the best of the rock we have today as well.

Of course, he also looks like he is currently smelling his own farts and enjoying them, so I shouldn’t be too terribly shocked.  And also, I made my neck sore on Saturday while driving to [child]’s basketball game by thrashing a little too voraciously to a song in my car, so I may be a little too into rock and roll…

Ed:

Dude.  This is awesome.  If there were any justice in the world you’d be a music critic and stop with the laws.  The laws are dumb, the music is interesting. 

Me (the next day):

BY the way, I’m still fired up about this dipshit.  I spent my whole walk this morning with the dog brainstorming albums that this guy apparently views as non-rock and roll.  Appetite for Destruction.  Nevermind.  Blood Sugar Sex Magic.  Anything by R.E.M., U2, Pearl Jam, or Radiohead.  Anything by Stevie Ray Vaughan.  Purple Rain.  So many other things that were both critically loved and commercially successful.  Even stuff that maybe only I loved – Black Crowes.  Jane’s Addiction.  Dave Matthews Band.  Paul Simon’s Graceland.  Tom fucking Petty!  Siamese Dream.  What’s the Story Morning Glory?  And he’s drawing the line at The River?  I even like The River, I think it is a really great album, but to say that rock and roll ended right then is so disingenuous and stupid and wrong and horrible and infuriating.  Nevermind blew people’s minds because it launched a new style of rock that looked to the past and yet pushed it into a new space.  Isn’t that exactly what this guy thought was created by The River?  Tom Petty’s Full Moon Fever was awesome!  I hate this person so much.

I wrote about rock and roll not that long ago on the blog, and the main reason I came up with for why I think rock is down on its luck as a genre is that its actually hard to do well.  In order for a band to step up and make a classic rock and roll record right now, it requires multiple people to be very good at their respective instruments, put together a good set of songs (not just one hit) with complex different parts mixed together into cohesive songs, and then add good lyrics.  That takes a ton of work.  On the other hand, the currently most popular genre – rap – just requires a kid with a laptop who can come up with a catchy chorus over a prepackaged beat and then upload it to soundcloud.

Ed:

You should write to that magazine, tell them to fire Bobby Hill, and hire you.  I’m only half-joking.

Yeah, I didn’t think about this nearly as much as you, nor am I anywhere near as well-versed as you, but Nevermind definitely came to mind.  The whole spirit of that album and the grunge movement is completely in line with the original ethos of rock; it didn’t sound like anything that had come before; it came with its own mores around fashion (which is very rock); and it was a big fuck you to the establishment (both the post-Reagan zeitgeist, but also hair-band rock that was so played out by then).   No one gave less fucks than Nirvana, which is the absolute quintessence of rock n roll. 

I'm all fired up all over again.  AND, before you say it, I'm well aware that the point of articles like this one, these days, is to create outrage and find clicks and craft a fire hot take of molten lava spiciness that will make people forward it to their friends to rant and rave about how stupid the take is.  But whatever.  I know I just gave the guy a few more clicks.  I need[ed] release (do you want me girl to be yo thief?).  Now I have excised the anger from my brain.

Thank you, this has been a sponsored message by the Jack You Should Get Back to Work and Quit Worrying About 1980's Rock Albums Society.  Good Day, Sir.  I SAID GOOD DAY!