Dolly Parton - Rockstar. I know that the current mood in the world is to find no fault with Queen Dolly, but this sucks ass. The first two songs, which I assume are originals, are just brutal. Her voice is strained and lyrically it is so trite as to be laughable. It makes me sad. Also, it is TWO FUCKING HOURS AND TWENTY ONE MINUTES! GTFOH with that. Longer-than-a-movie-ass karaoke album. She gets a huge pile of stars to come along for the ride - Sting, P!nk, Steve Perry (whose voice is apparently trashed), Stevie Nicks, Steven Tyler, Stapleton, Carlile, Miley, Elton, Ringo and Paul, etc. etc. etc. She ends the album with an insufferable 11 minute long version of "Free Bird." I apologize, Dolly, but this is not it. Top track is a remake with her goddaughter Miley. "Wrecking Ball" with 7.8 million streams.
Little too whispery and treacly to feel like I am listening to a rock and roll song. It gets 100 times better once Miley takes over the singing. Sadness. Also, I will readily admit that I quit listening to this disc before the end - just picked some of the tracks I was hoping would be interesting once I saw how insufferably long it is. So, if you determine that "Whats Up?" was actually a banger, then my apologies.
The Struts - Pretty Vicious. I'm a sucker for what the Struts do - got to see them live a few years back and it was a blast. The songs are generically fun party rock, almost exclusively, with fist-pumping choruses like "I'M GETTING TOO GOOD AT RAISING HELL!" or "I SEE YOU SHAKING YOUR ARSE LIKE A ROCKSTAR, JUST LIKE A ROCKSTAR YOU KNOW THAT I WANTCHA!" as the guitars and drums chug along. The songs definitely bleed together and start to sound the same, but it's still good fun to me. You can tell that the album isn't really striking a chord with the world, as song 1 has the most streams, then song 2, etc. The final track only gets 122k streams - by then people have shoved off to something else. That first track is "Too Good at Raising Hell," with 3 million streams.
Over the top singer with your granddad's plodding rock backbeat, all wrapped up right there. I'm happy that they keep doing it, even if nothing on this album is as good as the highs of that first disc. They also do a few slow burners, as every band like this is required to do. The final track has a "Let It Be" vibe. We need to get these guys on the bill for ACL Fest!
Dirty Honey - Can't Find the Brakes. Like a bastard child of The Black Crowes and Greta Van Fleet, I got to see them open for the Crowes a year or two ago and thoroughly enjoyed it. Pure bombast and rock and roll drip off of every note, with a squawking, squealing singer blaring his heart out over the top. Feels underproduced, which I dig. Like a true garage band keeping it real and playing it loose. Lots of guitar solos and crashing cymbals. The stream count doesn't show that they are getting much traction with the throwback sound, but I enjoy it anyway. Top streamer is the second track - "Won't Take Me Alive" - with 2.3 million.
Tasty guitar riffs by the pound, swaggerific shit. They lean just enough into bluesy riffs to keep them out of straight hair band territory, but I could pretty easily see them going with a more classic L.A. hair band sound if this was 30 years ago. And a lot of the riffs start to feel the same, even if they do catch me biting my lip and bobbing my head to the groove. Yeah, kinda dumb, kinda overdone, but it makes me happy anyway.
2 Chainz/Lil Wayne - Welcome 2 Collegrove. I had a long discussion with a friend, over Spring Break, about Eminem. He said that Eminem is the best rapper of all time. And I (likely rudely, likely with a few too many beers under my belt at the time) told him that was dumb. While I completely agree that Em had some kick ass tracks - ridiculous bars, funny phrases, story-telling mastery, perfect beats - he flamed out after 3 albums and his schtick getting super tired. He didn't like that and we went back and forth a bunch about who is the actual best and what the right criteria should be - great buzzed beach talk, just bringing up names and opining about them for a moment before naming some other dude. At the end of the day, I think I decided that no one is the greatest of all time. They all either died or fell off.
I bring that up here because we talked up Lil Wayne for a bit. Because like Eminem, he had some undeniable bangers. Top tier rap tracks with the smartest workplay around. And then he has put out approximately 300 million terrible tracks with corny metaphors that land like a bag of dog shit missing a dumpster. These guys can be really funny, very offbeat, totally strange, so that this joinder should be really great. It is not. Not that it sucks, but less amazing than could be hoped for. The benefit you get here with this album is that 2 Chainz can do some of the heavy lifting, so that Wayne doesn't have to carry the whole load. AND, importantly for me, they've found some good beats. The top track is "Presha," with its cool little whistle loop and more Chainz than Waynez. 23.2 million.
I like the beat and that whistle. But the lyrics aren't saying a damn thing. "Long Story Short" is cool as hell, and "G6" has a cool set of beats that transition well. "Pretty Pussy Award" is gross and funny and one of the few songs in here that really catches my attention - the line about making mac and cheese in here kills. The end of the album is completely forgettable. Too bad, because these guys could have made some really funny stuff.
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