Surviving ACL 2016: The Beer Hall

Man, I loved me some Reverend Horton Heat when I was in high school.  PARTY!  GET NAKED! BUY US BEER!

So, in case you are new to this whole ACL thing, they have two ways to get beer into your system. First, you have the jenky yellow BAR kiosks all over the grounds.  Literally, there will be like 20 of these spread all over the place.  At that BAR kiosk, you can likely get Butt Light, Butt Heavy, Coors Original, Heineken, Imperial, and Fireman's Four (or some derivation of those choices.  These will be tallboy cans, and likely $8 unless the price has been jacked since last time.  This is your easy access beer choice.

On the other hand, there is the Barton Springs Beer Hall, which will have some big screen TVs and a long bar full of taps of better beer choices.  I will not go so deeply into my rant from last year, about what a poor job they do of getting local options.  But I have to at least mention it - if it wasn't for Real Ale (which isn't based in Austin), you'd have like TWO FREAKING LOCAL OPTIONS HERE!  These choices are better than the BAR tents, but still!  Also, of note, unless they change things from last year, you are not getting a fresh pour of these beers.  The folks working this tent will have two or three cups of each beer sitting there ready for you to buy, so that you don't have to wait around for a pour.  However, if it is a million degrees, then your beer is not going to be cold.  I've never gotten a truly hot one either, but just know what you are getting.

On to the action!  According to the ACL website, these are going to be your choices (along with commentary from me):

• Ace Pineapple Cider: Haven't tried it.  Sounds gross.
• Adelbert’s Hibiscus Saison.  (5.6%).  AUSTIN FREAKING TEXAS!  However, this sounds gross to me.  I'm just not a fan of the farmhouse style of sweet/sour, so this one sounds grody.  Which is too bad, because Adelbert's makes some tasty stuff (Scratchin' Hippo being my personal fave).
• Alaskan White. (5.3%).  Alaska.  The White is a wheat beer, and I find the weird spices in it to be offputting.  A little cloying.  
• Deep Ellum IPA.  (7%).  Dallas.  This one is a good beer, I've had it a number of times.  However, why are we bringing in a Dallas IPA?  We have a BUNCH of legit IPAs all over Austin.  I'm sure this is all because of the idiotic Texas Legislature bending over backwards to let the beer distributors keep their monopoly over how beer gets sold to the consumer, but it is super lame that no Austin Beerworks or 512 or other great local guys are represented at the 'fest.
• Founders All Day IPA. (4.7%). Michigan.  I don't recall having this one, but know that this is a session ale, so you're getting weak alcoholic content here.  Probably a fine beer, but Beer Advocate gives it an 87 (compared to a 90 for Deep Ellum's IPA).
• Harpoon UFO White: (4.8%)  Massachusetts.  Another unfiltered wheat beer with spices that are not my thing.  I can see the allure of a light, sweet beer like this for the festival, but its just too much for me.  I dig Harpoon - their Octoberfest is awesome - but this one is a no for me.
• Lagunitas IPA (6.2%).  California.  I know people who love all things Lagunitas.  I'm not one of them. Meh.  After the first sip I wished I had gone with another choice.
• Oasis Metamodern.  (4.5%).  AUSTIN FREAKING TEXAS!  This is a good beer.  I like their bitter better (London Homesick), but this one is a tasty brew.  Again, though, note that you are getting weak ass booze content here.
• Original Sin Hard Cider.  No clue.  Cider.
• Odell Drumroll American Pale Ale. (5.3%). Fort Collins, CO. I like me some O'Dell beer.  I don't think I've tried this one, but I have yet to try an O'Dell product that wasn't mighty tasty.  The 90 Shilling amber is the flagship, but I bet this one is tasty as well.
• Sierra Nevada Otra Vez.  (4.5%).  California.  Gross, as I am a big weirdo about the sour beer and gose movement.  If you dig those funky beers, then by all means, go get you some four percent alcohol goodness here.
• Stone Arrogant Bastard. (7.2%).  California.   Well, this is weird.  ACL website lists this as "Stone Arrogant Bastard," but Stone Brewing does not appear to make Arrogant Bastard.  According to BeerAdvocate, this is brewed by Arrogant Brewing, which is also in California.  Anyway, nerdy semantics aside, know that this is an American Strong Ale that is pretty good.
• Sweet Water 420 Pale Ale.  (5.4%)  Georgia.  Sweet, bra, 420.  Guys, I bet this chill brew totally has all of the weeds in it, maaaaaaan.  You should drink it and get like mega super high, bro.  Never had this one, and don't plan to.
• Real Ale Devil’s Backbone (8%), Real Ale Fireman’s #4 (5.1%), Real Ale Hans Pils (5%), Real Ale Oktoberfest (5.7%).  AUSTIN-area (although not even really in Austin).  Hooray!  More local-ish beer added to the list!  I like the Oktoberfest the best out of this list.  I like Oktoberfest beers in general, and Real Ale does a fine malty marzen-style one.  If making them wasn't such a hassle, I'd make this style all year long.  Hans Pils would be my second favorite, but all three of the non-Oktoberfest beers are pretty strong hop beers, which is too bad, because it would be nice to get more variety. Devil's is the strongest for sure, but I always dislike it by the end of a pint because of the heavy hops shredding my tongue.     

2016 WINNERS:

Actual best beer Category:  Honestly, this list is pretty mediocre overall.  I guess I'll give it to Real Ale Oktoberfest, for the ones that I've actually tried.  Maybe the O'Dell one will kick ass. 

Best Austin beer of the only TWO offered at the freaking AUSTIN CITY LIMITS MUSIC FESTIVAL Category:  Oasis Metamodern.

Beer on the list I'd like to try Category: O'Dell APA.

Best bang for your buck Category:  Devil's Backbone for sure at 8%, but Deep Ellum and Arrogant Bastard are right there at about 7%.

Enjoy yourself some tasty beer!  I expect to have maybe one of these and then chug loads of vodka!  Less than two days away!