Crystal Castles

One Liner: Stressful electronic music for people who hate their ears
Wikipedia Genre: Electropunk, synth-pop, witch house (riiiight).
Spotify Says Similar To: Kap Bambino and You Love Her Coz She's Dead (wish I were making that up)
Home: Toronto

Poster Position: 5
Slot: Friday, ?

Thoughts:  My One Liner up above may be too harsh, but listen to the 8th most popular track on Spotify, "Alice Practice," and please tell me if you would rather jam dog shit into your ear canals with a rusty nail, or be forced to listen to that song again?

The third comment on that YouTube video said that this sounds like a "Nintendo getting raped."  Which is funny.  But this is awful.  And horrible.  And so very bad.  According to their Spotify bio, this track "was something of an accident: it was intended to be a demo of [lead singer Alice] Glass testing out a microphone, but its presence on MySpace piqued record labels' interest."  Interest in what?  Torture porn for Desert Storm interrogations?  The soundtrack to Saw 19?  That track has been streamed over 5 million times on Spotify and all of life should jump into a burning tire fire on the Nebraska plains.
Their top song features Robert Smith of the Cure, which is significantly better than whatever that crap was up above.  23.6 million streams.

Could easily just be a Cure track, all spacey synths and Smith, until the chorus kicks in and the music gets more harsh.  Some of their music is more chilled and less stressful, but I feel like just about every song has a portion where they switch gears and make it sound hateful for a bit, just to throw old people like me off the bus.  Here is their second-most listened to track, "Crimewave."

While I too enjoy nice breasts, I just don't get why this should be on the 5th line of the ACL poster.  Or why that song would have been streamed 21.9 million times.  It's like a throw away rip off of "Blue Monday" with video game sounds.  Per their bio, they called it quits in 2014 so that the lead singer could pursue a solo career, but it sounds like a new singer came on board in 2015 to keep the action going.  I do not enjoy this band and will not go see them play in the fall.  Please God let me stop listening to this music.