ACL 2018: The Beers!

tl;dr version: In the beer tent, New Belguim's Voodoo Ranger rocks 7.5% ABV.  In the regular bars, if they have the 19 ounce Karbach Love Street super tall boys, that could be three extra ounces for free.

If only you could buy whiskey in the jar-O at the ACL grounds.  Unfortunately, I think my days of trying to sneak booze into the park are over, as they kept hassling me last year about the re-sealed Aquafina bottles and its just a pain in the ass to be all nervous about it, so instead I'm just going to bring in a crap ton of random narcotics and just munch them until I black out.  Luckily they won't check my socks.  For real though, the security is going to be even harder this year, so I won't be sneaking in booze anymore.  (unless you animals have good ideas for how to make it happen?!?)

But I do plan on having a few beers to get me through the days out there in the sun.  In case you are new to this whole ACL thing, they have two ways to get beer into your system. First, you have the jenky yellow BAR kiosks all over the grounds.  Literally, there will be like 20 of these spread all over the place.  At that BAR kiosk, you can likely get Butt Light, Butt Heavy, Coors Original, Heineken, Imperial, and Fireman's Four (or some derivation of those choices).  These will be tallboy cans, and likely $9 unless the price has been jacked since last time.  This is your easy access beer choice.  You will have many of these.

On the other hand, there is the Barton Springs Beer Hall, which will have some big screen TVs and a long bar full of taps of better beer choices.  Of note, unless they change things from last year, you are not getting a fresh pour of these beers.  The folks working this tent will have two or three cups of each beer sitting there ready for you to buy, so that you don't have to wait around for a pour.  However, if it is a million degrees, then your beer is not going to be cold.  I've never gotten a truly hot one either, but just know what you are getting.

On to the action!  According to the ACL website, these are going to be your choices (along with commentary from me):

• Austin Eastciders Blood Orange; Austin Eastciders Original.  (5.0%).  Austin.  I have tried the original one, and it is pretty solid for a cider, but that is like saying V-8 is pretty solid for a tomato juice when you can't stand tomato juice.  So enjoy, if this is your thing, at least it is local.
• Bell’s Two Hearted IPA. (7.0%). Kalamazoo, Michigan.  What is with a Michigan beer?  I've had this several times (they had it in Colorado at lots of stores) and it is a good beer.  Pretty bitter, but strong.  Also, the label (kind of jenky, like the writing on Ghostface Killah's Twelves Reasons to Die, with a fish underneath) is boss.  Seven percent sounds good though...
• Appears to be independent.
• Big Bend National Park Hefe. (5.6%).  From beautiful Alpine, Texas (although someone told me the other day that they are going to stop brewing out there and move the operation to somewhere stupid like Dallas.  Weaksauce).  This is a good beer, but a hefeweisen, so you're getting cloudy wheat beer.  In my opinion, these get bad quickly in heat, so I'll likely pass (even though I like this brewery). 
• Celis Pale Bock.  (4.9%).  Austin, Texas.  I've enjoyed the new Celis beers that I've had around town, and this is my favorite.  The Pale Bock is great, heavy malt sweetness, but a very welcome break from the overly hoppy IPAs.  Give it a shot.
• Celis White. (4.9%). Austin, Texas.  Yeah, I liked this one back in the day when Celis was first around, and have enjoyed it at a few bars since it came back to life.  This is a wheat beer, so its a little sweet, a little cloudy, and would be refreshing on a hot day, although I find wheat beers to be worse when they get warm, so you gotta go fast with this one.
• Independence Brewing Company Native Texan.  (5.2%). Austin, Texas.  German pilsner.  Never tried this one before, but I think a good pilsner is a great hot weather beer, and this one being over 5% sounds sweet.  I'll go for at least one.
• Owned in part by Lagunitas, which is owned by Heineken.
• Karbach Big & Bright IPA. (6.7%). Houston, Texas.  Of course, now that the evil empire has purchased Karbach, it becomes the biggest "craft beer" offering here and they cut Real Ale out entirely.  I don't like it at all.  I haven't tried this one, I've had a bunch of the Karbachs and they are fine.  
• AB InBev owned.  And here is some Class A shade from the awesome dudes over at Austin Beerworks, calling bullshit on ACL listing Karbach as "craft."  I love their message - Karbach is good beer and I'm glad people enjoy it, but understand that beers brewed by AB InBev shouldn't be misleadingly labeled as "craft."
• Karbach Lemon Ginger Radler and Blood Orange Radler (3.5%). Houston, Texas.  God, I bet this is horrible.  First, you are getting about the same amount of alcohol as hand sanitizer.  Second, you are getting a beer flavored with ginger.  Ginger is a cool hair color, but not an acceptable beer flavoring device.  Finally, you are paying like $10 for this honor.  I would not do this.  Just go get a water instead.
• Karbach Hopadillo. (6.6%). Houston, Texas.  This is a pretty solid beer.  Not too crazy hopped in my recollection, but still pretty bitter.  Again, though, give me the ones at 7.0% instead of this less powerful business.  Damn mega breweries screwing me on a few percentage points of booze.
• Karbach Love Street. (4.9%). Houston, Texas.  This is a pretty damn tasty Kolsch, real light and a little bit fruity.  I got our firm to carry it in the beer fridges and I have it with some regularity.  The Fest says they are offering the regular serving as well as the "Taller Boy Can," which I had the other night at Bass Concert Hall, which is a 19 ounce can.  I'm sure we'll all pay and extra $3 for that 3 ounce addition...
• Karbach Weekday Warrior. (4.5%). Houston, Texas.  An American IPA, I've never seen nor heard of this one before.  Not sure why I'd go with a full point less of alcohol than the Weekend Warrior...
• Karbach Weekend Warrior. (5.5%). Houston, Texas.  My favorite of the Karbach offerings, this one is an American Pale, so it boycotts you if you take a knee for any reason.  Hoppy, but nothing nearly as brutal as many of the full IPAs.
• Karbach Staycation. (4.8%). Houston, Texas.  Oh yeah, actually this might be my favorite of the Karbach beers.  This one is a very good, smooth American Pale that is easy to drink.
• Kona Big Wave.  (4.4%).  Hawaii.  American Blonde Ale.  I had a few different Kona beers the other day at someone else's house, and while I'm not sure I had the blonde, I liked all three that I had.  Too bad that the alcohol content is so low, I'd like to have this one but doubt I'd waste the money.
• Just because I'm a beer nerd, I was curious what the deal is with Kona.  Here is what I found online: "While you may not be intimately familiar with the name Craft Brew Alliance, you’re probably familiar with its brands – Kona, Redhook, Widmer and the gluten-free Omission. Despite its name, the brewer isn’t considered “craft” under Brewers Association standards because a third of the company is owned by AB InBev, essentially so Craft Brew Alliance [CBA] can utilize AB InBev’s monstrous distribution network."  So this brand is also part of the AB InBev world, same as Karbach.
• New Belgium Voodoo Ranger Juicy Haze IPA. (7.5%).  Colorado.  Damn, Gina - 7.5 is legit.  I just bought a twelve of the regular Voodoo Ranger for the house the other day and enjoyed it while smoking some ribs on Labor Day.  Good beer, not too bitter but well hopped.
• New Belgium is apparently employee owned.  So hell yeah.
• Twisted X Who Mango IPA. (5.8%). Austin, Texas.  I have been underwhelmed by the Twisted X beers, and mango IPA doesn't sound too terribly appetizing for me.  I'd probably skip it.

I know, each year I bitch and moan about not having any local options, but this year, they do a pretty solid job of making the list relatively local.  In 2016, we had two local brews (an Oasis and an Adelberts) and then the Real Ale options from nearby, but a ton of brews from far away.  2017 had an almost even mix, with 13 non-Austin beers and 10 Austin beers and ciders.  This year you get six Austin beers and ciders, eight more from Texas, and only three from out of state.  Vast improvement in my opinion.  I'd still love to have Austin Beerworks and 512 and Hops & Grain and Zilker in there, but a little progress is good.  Also, they dropped Zeigenbock, which is a major victory, as that stuff sucks on toast.  

2018 WINNERS:

Actual best beer Category:  Of a relatively mediocre field, I think I'd go with the Karbach Love Street.  Very easy to drink and quite tasty.  Winner. 

Beer on the list I'd like to try Category: Native Texan.  I like Independence, I like Pilsners, lets do this.

Best bang for your buck Category:  Voodoo Ranger - 7.5% booze.  You'll lose your tastebuds for the next hour or so, but you'll get into party mode a touch quicker.  Assuming the Juicy Haze is a s good as the regular one, then this is a winner.  More bang for your buck and a good brew.  And independently owned by employees, so that is tight.

Curious about the BAR beers, but no way to know what will be carried there.  The website only lists the fancy stuff.  I expect we'll still get the usual stuff at the BAR.  Just for comparison's sake, the alcoholic content of the BAR beers that I expect to see:

• Bud Light: 4.2%
• Bud: 5.0%
• Coors Heavy: 5.0%
• Imperial: 4.6%
• Heineken: 5.0%

They'll likely have a craft-ish beer too, like those extra tall Love Street cans (4.9%).  If those extra three ounce cans are the same price as the others, then I'll be drinking that Love Street all day long!