ACL 2018: Transportation Thoughts

How in the world do 80,000 people all get to Zilker Park, a landlocked zone bordered by a river, a highway, a creek, and a road that is closed down for the Festival?

Well, for many years, I had the smug superiority of being able to park at my Mom's house, which was right up above the Park, and then walk down without any hassle or trouble.  It was amazing.  I could look down upon all the people waiting for Ubers or struggling with their bikes up the Robert E Lee hill.  But mom sold her house, and I now lost my free parking space, and have to join the unwashed masses in a hunt for transportation.

The ACL Website provides several options, but there are more they have ignored, so let me discuss everything here.  If you have other ideas, please hit me up - comment here, DM me on Twitter, whatever - I want this to be as easy as humanly possible for me (and everyone else).

1. Drive your own car.  There are places you can park (even though there is zero official parking by the Park).  On Robert E. Lee (assuming it is still called that in a month) there are a few houses with big yards or driveways that will have cardboard signs up offering parking for $40 per day.  Just know that you should not randomly park on the streets in Zilker/Barton Hills/Tarrytown/Bouldin, etc.  The neighbors will have that ass towed unless the signs there allow for event parking.  City Hall, Palmer Events Center, and One Texas Center have allowed for Fest parking in the past, at more like $15 a day, but that is a much longer walk (and getting out of parking garages after an event sucks).
2. Free Shuttle from Downtown.  This seems like hell.  You get to board the bus at Republic Square Park, and then it takes you directly to the Barton Springs West entrance.  But that means you need to find a place to park your car downtown all day (or get a ride).  And more importantly, it means that a HUGE pile of people are going to be trying to catch the bus back to downtown when Metallica is done.  And they are all going to be tired and dirty and drunk and no thanks.  BY then I will have had enough of crowds for the day.
3. Uber/Lyft.  The website says to stay tuned for pick-up/drop-off locations, and since the Festival starts in like 3 weeks, I wouldn't hold my breath.  Just have them drop and pick at the Austin High bridge and walk.  This might be my chosen way to do this thing, however, I'm a little bit worried about the surge pricing I'll get at the end of the Fest.  My house to downtown is only like $15, but I fear that the millions of people looking to leave at 10 is going to surge that return trip up to $100 or something.  Anyone have experience with this?
4. CapMetro.  No thanks.  Rode this in February for the first time ever.  I suspect that the ride, and stops, and bus switches, required for me to get home would take so long that I might as well just sleep in the Park.
5. Just sleep in the Port-o-Potty and never leave.  YES.  This is the best plan.
6. Biking.  Hahahahahaha!  My old lazy ass is never going to bike to the Festival.  I know some young, hip dudes who ride all the time can probably crush this, but come on.  For those of you considering it, they have a ton of bike racks where you can lock it up, but know that if you get wasted on Sunday night and leave your bike behind, ACL threatens the bike could be impounded.  Also of interest, if you rent one of those B-Cycles, you can apparently get special docking space at Uncle Billy's (on Barton Springs, pretty close to the gate), so then you don't have to worry about biking home.  So maybe you park downtown, bike to Billy's, then Lyft back to your car?  Sounds difficult.
7. Walking.  I mean, this might be the right call.  The problem is that parking in the surrounding neighborhoods is very much verboten, and they will tow your car if you aren't in the right spots, so where are you actually going to park that you can reasonably walk plus not get towed?
8. Electric Scooters (Bird, Lime, etc.).  I have been eyeballing this option for a while, thinking it might allow me to park somewhere further away - my office, a friend's house in central Austin, Randall's parking lot - and ride a scooter to and from my car.  Because you can just drop them wherever you want, it seems preferable to the B-Cycle.  My question is: how are they going to manage all of the scooters being dumped at the park, when more people need them to get there, and then having enough at the park, when the night is over?  Seems like a tough logistical battle.  I can't find any news through Google that explains it, so the problem would be coming out of the park at 10 and realizing that there are no scooters to be had, and now your car is 5 miles away.  Maybe give this option a year and see how it works this time.
9. Get dropped off by your mom.  Damn, I wish this was still an option.  My wife would roll her eyes so hard they'd get freaking stuck on her shoulder blades if I asked her for a ride.
10. Other weird options: There are pedi-cabs, but I have a feeling those will be pricey.  And I always feel guilt for those dudes carrying my fat ass around.  Motorcyles/scooters (like, gas ones) - parking for those is available at the corner of Sterzing Drive and Toomey Road (Toomey is that road behind Chuy's and Uncle Billy's).  Uh, like roller blades?  They don't have a dock, so you can't canoe...

I think, from reviewing all of the options, I'm going to give the Lyft a shot and just see how it goes.  if the post-Festival surge is too terrible, then I'll just walk over to Pool Burger or Deep Eddy and have another cocktail and just wait for the surge to die off.