Madison Beer

One Liner:  If the expired Natural Ice you found in the back of your grandad's garage fridge after he died was pop music.

Wikipedia Genre: Pop
Home: Jericho, NY

Poster Position: 13

Weekend One Only.

Thoughts:  I mean, that one liner is rude.  I shouldn't be so rude, but this is just very generic pop music like a lesser Ariana or something.  Her Wikipedia says that she was discovered by Justin Beiber when he found her posting covers to YouTube and tweeted a link to her cover of Etta James' "At Last."  She then signed to Beiber's label and immediately made a theme song for something called Monster High.  Either way, I don't care for it.

One EP on Spotify, that only has 7 songs, and a full album is due sometime in 2019. Most streamed tuen is from that EP, called "Home With You," at 153.9 million streams.

So much vamping for the camera.  It's like I'm watching my kid's TikTok stream over her shoulder and growing increasingly more annoyed.  I get it, you are a pretty woman, just relax the lip puffing and under-bangs-glaring.  Kind of reminds me of how Denise Richards "acted" as she just like, vacantly stared at the camera and was like "be hawt" in her head.  Little bit of a reggae/dancehall feel to this one, with almost rapping from Beer.  And its catchy - I'm not immune to the charms of that groove, even if I want very much to hate it.

She has another hot single with Offset, but screw that guy.  I'll give you her most recent single, since that should sound a little like the new album (one would expect).  This is "Dear Society," with 23 million streams.

Yeah, we get it.  She is beautiful.  Will anyone remember this tune at all in 20 minutes?  I doubt it.  [goes back and jams some obscure song from Living Color's second album because it reminds me of playing Zelda in junior high]

I choose to never listen to this again.  That includes at ACL.  She could be up against The Score and the Q Brothers and I'd still just go eat 8 mmmpenadas instead.