Lana Del Rey

Time to give someone from the top of the bill a shot instead of these small guys with no press.  She came to fame via YouTube and has apparently put out two albums since discovery in 2011.  I don’t recall seeing it (because I am way too cool to be watching SNL - my Saturday nights are all Rock and ROLL!!  Or more likely I am asleep every Saturday before 11), but my recollection is that she did an SNL spot that was roundly crapped on by the world. 
http://gawker.com/5876449/lana-del-reys-infamous-snl-performance. 

OK, after watching that, I see why she was crapped on.  I get that she’s going for a certain contrived persona, but maybe she should realize that most people dislike super dramatic, contrived people.  Other than watching reality TV for a trainwreck, no one really liked those people.  That persona is suckage. 

Her album, Born to Die, was the fifth best selling album of 2012, so she’s got some star power despite the fact that I couldn’t identify any of her music before listening.  According to the internet, she has called her musical sound “Hollywood sadcore.”  That is awful.  Please don’t make up stuff like that.  The music is very dramatic – lots of strings and swells in volume and whispery little lyrics.  But her main voice is kind of a rap-ish monotone, with sung hooks in between.  She is taking older musical sounds and then sticking more current lyrics and thoughts over it.  For example, she just said “Drop it like it’s hot in the pale moonlight.”  Yuck, dude.  Another song on her new album mentions “looking to get f’ed hard.”  All edgy up in this.  I feel like I’m listening to a desperate, retro-loungy comeback attempt by Annie Lennox or Sting’s wife or Amy Winehouse's neice or something.  It is not especially catchy or memorable – none of the songs on her new album (Paradise) stuck in my head at all.  And then her first album is full of some cringe inducing bits.  She has a song called Diet Mountain Dew that repeatedly says You’re No Good for Me.  Ugh.  Lots of really crappy lyrics – this one about being your National Anthem and “red white blues in the sky, summers in the air and heaven’s in your eyes.”  Oh man.  Maybe the best of the bunch is Summertime Sadness:

But that’s like saying my favorite Mad Men episode was that one when mean and awful people did mean and awful things to each other and then it was over.  Her most popular on Spotify is Born to Die:

I hope they put her as the headliner for Sunday night so everyone can just go home like last year.