After booting up my laptop at the office today, I discovered a sad new truth. As of right now, YouTube is now blocked in my office. Which is jenky, and makes it significantly harder for me to provide you with YouTube examples of songs (and impossible to listen to some of the smaller acts who aren't even on Spotify). We shall see if that lasts, or if they just did it in response to the fact that I am probably using half of the joint's bandwidth trying to hunt down the best music for your enjoyment. I'll keep writing anyway and will plan on just inserting some links once I get home.
In lieu of just sitting around and waiting for that situation to resolve itself, I figured I would share another bit of review work I recently did. One of the Deadspin writers frequently posts rankings of different booze - Mexican beers, Irish beers, cheap American beers (which was awesome and hilarious - go read that one now) . Last fall, he did a review of cheap bourbons which I found fascinating. I don't know if I am generally a cheap shopper, I know I'm not when it comes to beer, but I very much liked the idea of drinking a less expensive booze that tasted just as good as the more expensive stuff. Here is his article: http://deadspin.com/cheap-bourbons-ranked-1468454287.
Because I don't trust this guy's palate (the guy thinks Lone Star is better than Coors Light. Come on, man. I want to love Lone Star too, but that stuff tastes like wet cardboard and blood) I decided that I needed to do my own blind taste test. Which was highly entertaining. Over the course of a few months, any time I went to the liquor store I would grab one of the bottles on his list. Then, because I am an analytical nerd, I determined the exact cost per ounce of each bourbon. One night, I had two buddies over to poison themselves with me (because if you do this kind of thing alone, you probably need help, or at least a better buddy or two) and did an elaborate set up of blind-testing cups with letters on them, each measured with 3 tall shots. We tried each one by itself for a sip, then with coke for a sip. For your enjoyment (and potential edification), the ranks:
5. Old Crow Reserve. This was Will Gordon's favorite when he did his ranking, but it is gawdawful. He claims that it has flavors of sweet caramel, cinnamon, and a dark fruit edge. No. Just no. It tastes like sawdust and rubbing alcohol. There is zero bourbon flavor or aged barrel hint going on with this garbage at all. It was OK with Coke, but still kind of like those times in college when you tried everclear and coke and then spent the next 7 hours barfing ramen into your bedsheets. Cost: $0.33 an oz.
4. Early Times 354. This was leagues better than OCR, but still harsh. Deadspin didn't technically do this one, because there is apparently some difference in barrel technique between regular Early Times and the 354. I don't really care whether the stuff can technically be called "bourbon" or whether it must be called "whiskey." Dumb arguments, when all that should matter is whether it tastes good. Had some burned wood taste and more of an iodine flavor than I would have expected. Not especially good with Coke, tasted bitter in there and lost some of the slight sweetness it had when neat. Cost: $0.59 an oz.
3. Old Crow. Gordon claims that this is the alleged house whisky of U.S. Grant and Mark Twain. Which is cool, if true. It is also a beloved name in drinking songs. Gordon claims it "smells like candy corn and sweet orange tea, and it tastes like margarined toast. " Which is not at all what I get from it. I got a good bit of burned wood, and an oily/ spicy taste. Also, disclaimer, my palate may suck, because I tried smelling the stuff and could not discern anything other than the scent of whiskey. This was good with Coke. Cost: $0.30 an oz.
2. Rebel Yell. I wanted to like this one so that I could sing Billy Idol all the time and sneer as I drank it, but I also didn't want to like it and be some Ole Miss-loving prick who yells along with the South is Gonna Do it AGAIN! on his Outlaw Country Sirius radio. It also had the most pleasing bottle of the group - tall, thin, and kind of heavy glass. Gordon says that this one is a good Maker's Mark replacement bottle. It was absolutely the sweetest of the five I tried, and definitely had a vanilla taste in the sip. This one was far and away the best with Coke. Which is kind of interesting, I had never given much thought to the fact that a bourbon and coke could be better with different bourbons, but I have seen the light. Cost: $0.50 an oz.
1. J.W. Weller. Gordon didn't review this one, but it falls right in the same price point at the store, so I thought I'd add it in because it is an old favorite of a friend's dad. This bourbon is really and truly good. Either neat or with some ice, it is super smooth with a good amount of spiciness and oilyness. And while I don't dislike Knob Creek or Maker's or other pricey bourbons, paying significantly less makes my miserly little heart happy. That being said, this one was really bad with Coke. Very bitter and unpleasant. Cost: $0.53 an oz.
And if you don't mind being slightly more expensive, the Weller 12 year (about $25 for a .750, or $1.12 an oz.) is fantastic. Ridiculously good for the price.
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